Circles
Posted by Allison Mack | Filed under Blog
Do you ever feel like you are chasing your tail? Like you are repeating yourself over and over and over again, without actually getting anywhere? I feel like that right now.
Like, I know what I want and where I want to go, but to actually take the next step seems colossal, so I stay chasing my tail, spinning in circles and wearing a hole in the ground because I can’t seem to spin anywhere else.
It is feeling inspired and frozen at the same time; feeling the need to sprint with my feet super glued to the starting blocks. Am I alone with this?
xo
allison
Tags: circles
121 Responses to “Circles”
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Arwen Caban Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:02 amWho is free from this dilemma? I feel exactly like you at this time. You are very brave to speak up, often feel that if I do not say it, the problem isn’t there. My problem is to be efficient. More than my problem is my obsession. You never get it. I always procrastinate. Perhaps we need a push in the right direction from time to time. You have just given me one. Thank you very much.
Arwen.
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Scott Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:24 amSame.
I’m worried on my future to the point that I can’t find the inspiration I desperately want and need for projects I’ve been planning to do for the past few years (which for various reasons did not have the potential to go anywhere at those times). So, I chase my tail. Tell myself I need to do it, yet every time I try, I’m stuck. So I do something else for a while, and never become un-stuck.
I don’t know the solution yet. Tomorrow I think I may try to force myself to work on that project, cut out everything that could possibly occupy me. Hopefully it will happen, and I will get one of the many things I need to do in my life right now, done.
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Robert Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:31 amI think that everyone at some point in life struggles with this one, it’s an affliction common to all. I guess it really depends on what going round in circles about. For me lately it’s been my dream. I would love some day to write and have published a fantasy novel, a goal I’m determined to accomplish in some manner.
However over the last few weeks I seem to have struck a touch of writer’s block, so your comment about a runner super glued to the starting blocks is quite apt.
I’ve also been recently reminded that if I continue to dwell on it, I’ll just dig a deep hole and make the problem worse a get stuck in a true rut.Come on the inspiration
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David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 2:05 amIsn’t there a saying about inspiration being 99% perspiration?
Allison,
if you look at what you are doing today and what you finished yesterday and what you finished in all your yesterdays, you will see that you aren’t going nowhere. Consider each episode you complete of “Smallville” a brick. You are putting up a very nice wall! Then you are trimming it out with things like your “Alice and Huck” brick and you are laying the foundation of the directorial wall. Soon you will have a mansion. Thankfully, you live in a day when what goes out on the airwaves can be recorded and preserved. You can fill a shelf with DVDs that would take hours to review showing the excellant work you have done. If you are spinning, you are spinning straw into gold.
It is rare that anyone spends over 20 years in the same profession and extraordinary that you have spent more time than that in a career before turning 30 in a profession not known for long careers. Maybe what you need is a vacation from Chloe Sullivan … and I think that some of that is in the works for you. But maybe you need to pick a role that is so totally against type that no one would think of you for the part and go for it in a big way. I know you have talented people in your corner who would help you. We’ve seen your Dr. Jeckyl. Maybe it’s time for Ms. Hyde. Halloween is just around the corner.
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Adi Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 3:49 amEverything in life is a cyclical experience.
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Michael L Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 4:05 ami know that filling all to well. I use to do paintings a few years ago and i would often fill as though i was just going in circles every time i would start a new painting. Don’t get me wrong i love to draw and i still paint every now and then. But when i was doing commissioned work i would always fell more like i was doing a chore rather then completing a work of art. Most of the time i would just take a little time off from what i was doing just to clear my head a little. One thing that always helped was to take a small vacation for a couple weeks and just relax.
and Allison with all the great things you have accomplished in your life. Aswell as you amazing career as an actress and soon to by director. I think you are a rael insperation to us all keep up the great work.
Also there is something else i would like to talk about for a moment if that’s all right i know this is off topic but i’m new to this site so i wasn’t sure if you guys have already discussed this topic or not if you have sorry for the double post.
Wisdom….
OK so the other day i was having a conversation with a friend of mine who’s granfather has just recently past on. And most of his family was talking about how wise he was and what an interesting life he had lived. Some of his family said that he was a very simple man who lived a modest life, others said that he was very intellectual and sometimes a bit arragant and my friend his grandson said he was just a kind and wise old man who love’d life and always enjoyed talking to people and passing on his wisdon to everyone he met.
And i started thinking what is wisdom really? I have spoken to a lot of people now and it seeme’s as though every one of them has a different definition for what the word wisdom means.
Wisdom is defined as….
The quality or state of being wise; Knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, disernment, or insight.
Or scholarly knowledge or learning; The wisdom of school.
Personally my deinition of wisdom is someone who lives their life to the fullest every day learning and experiencing new things but accepting the fact that they can never fully understand everything. And a person who can find beauty and inspiration in their every day lives weather it comes from friends, family, art, literature, poetry or our natural surroundings.
So my question to Allison and everyone else reading this post…….
What do you think the real meaning of wisdom is? or can it even have just one true definition? Is there really a difinitive answer for this question?
And because every one has a different outlook on life. Is it even possible to obtain a full understanding and enlightenment of the world around us?
Because what may seem like enlightenment to one may look like total disillusionment to another.
Anyway just curious. Let me know what you think.
Michael L
To understand reality is not the same as to know about outworld events. It is to perceive the essential nature of things. The best-informed man is not necessarily the wisest. Indeed there is a danger that precisely in the multiplicity of his knowledge he will lose sight of what is essential. But on the other hand, knowledge of an apparently trivial detail quite often makes it possible to see into the depth of things. And so the wise man will seek to acquire the best possible knowledge about events, but always without becoming dependent upon this knowledge. To recognize the significants in the factual is wisdom.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
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paul Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 4:25 amYou seem like a very high-energy person; this is both a very good thing and a certain path to frustration.
Personally, I wouldn’t know ambition if it hit me on the head with a brick. So it’s a bit startling to me that a successful actress with a couple of TV series under her belt, who is breaking into directing, and who just attended the screening of an indie short she was instrumental in creating, is frustrated with the lack of progress she’s making. At age 25.
Jeez, Allison– relax!
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David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 5:47 am[Ready ... AIM ... FIRE! One brick successfully launched in Paul's direction.]
Hey Luigi! All this brick discussion calls for a Pink Floyd song!
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Kasey Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 6:24 amI’ve felt that way several times in my life. The fact is that we’re probably not just feeling like we’re going in circles. We actually ARE going in circles. Because to leave behind what’s comfortable and accepting of us means to leap into an abyss of unknown possibilities.
It’s probably not really the abyss that scares us, though. I tend to think that it’s knowing that once you leap, you’ll never be able to climb back up to that peak of comfortability again.
Isn’t it funny, however, that the longer you stay in that “comfortable” place, the more uncomfortable it becomes? You start to long to move so badly that you don’t care about the risks anymore, you just dive into something new and risky with blatant disregard for what’s behind you.
I vote for an in between. It takes more courage to move when there’s a chance you could really lose, but it beats the alternative of waiting so long that you jump into a new life out of desperation for change.
My vote? If you want to sprint, but your shoes are glued to the starting blocks, take them off and run barefoot. -
David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 6:46 amHmmm. The nature of the universe is circles. Electrons circling. Satellites circling. Planets circling. Galaxies circling. And if you move while circling, you spiral. And, if you have ever played with a spirograph, you’ll know what pretty patterns we can make in our orbits. But, if you don’t move at all, all you make is a dot.
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Kasey Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 6:48 amDavid Hayes! All I want to do is compete with you in saying poetic things!
But I won’t, because you’ll win.
You inspire me. -
Jennifer Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 6:57 amNo Allison your not alone. I feel like I’ve been chasing my tail for months now. I just wish I could stop and get to where I want to go.
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The Friday Philosopher Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:02 amI often feel like I’m racing as fast as I possibly can, only to find myself right back at the beginning. It’s as if I exist solely for the sake of existence.
What is the point to this?
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David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:03 amBouroux,
This might be a good time for you to post the screen time statistics for Allison on Smallville. It would help us gauge how much circling Allison has been doing.
====
Hmmm. Flashback to Stevie Nicks spinning in her music videos. … Wonder where that came from.
Guess I just want to put a … positive spin on spinning.
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AnnK Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:05 amYou’re not even the least bit a lone in this. I just hope you can take that next step when you’re ready. It’s scarey, new and sad sometimes, but OH THE ADVENTURES yet to come.
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David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:06 amThe Friday Philosopher Said:
“I often feel like I’m racing as fast as I possibly can, only to find myself right back at the beginning. It’s as if I exist solely for the sake of existence.”
Hmmmm. I think I recall Mario Andretti saying the same thing!
He also said, “If everything’s under control, you’re going too slow.” Maybe that applies to what Allison is going through as well.
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Kasey Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:07 amDavid-
You make me laugh.Circling could be a positive thing, sometimes I guess. When you’re in the same place for a while you have time to examine small things in life that you never previously had time for.
I was so much more contemplative when I wasn’t so busy and I knew exactly where my life was headed. Now life is exciting, but I don’t have time to truely appreciate anything. -
taylor nikole Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:10 amWell, no.
Its weird, ive found that at moments… even the slightest thing can inspire me.
But, sometimes I chose to not doing anything with it, except sit back and enjoy the feeling for days or moments.
Then it disappears and I’m right back to where I started, maybe its not just a circle for me.
Theres also the feeling of a maze.
I feel so inspired, so strong to push through and then I hit a dead end… I become frustrated or confused… then i find a new path and the same thing happens all over again.
its repeditive.
Maze with no end, I’ll be stuck forever until I figure a way out (of a maze with no end?).
I’ve been having a lot of personal frustration lately…. i guess like I’m not moving forward.
Except, I’ve been trying to push forward, yet I feel like my feet are still superflued to the floor, like “I’ve done this before” in a way and it doesn’t seem physically possible to go any further.
Weird. -
The Friday Philosopher Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:19 amI like it David!
I bet Mario Andretti managed to get back to the beginning long before I could though.
Friday
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Gnome Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:35 amIts just a matter of time to someone comes to bite your tail and make you change into another direction………
I call this “lack of focus”. You need to find some thing to be focused. An objective concrete, that give you a different and straight direction to follow.
Is like to be lost in the desert…… you walk, walk, walk and walk more, but you are not sure where you are going cause you don’t have a especific point to reach, then, without even notice, you come back to the original point and you have to start all over again. If you don’t look up to the stars and focus on the brightest point in the sky you probably will be walking in circles for a long time…
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David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:37 am… and spinning doesn’t mean that you can’t change while your spinning.
Just ask Linda Carter!
YouTube /watch?v=B4jUN_IUeyg&feature=related
Or Debra Winger!
YouTube /watch?v=-0q2AARbYz8
Or if you want something more animated:
YouTube /watch?v=qfGlhj12q-g&feature=related
Here’s some instructions if you want to try this at home:
YouTube /watch?v=4vej3b3LFV8&feature=related
Oh… I am SO dizzy now!
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Christnot Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:39 amYeah, happens to me to. Maybe too much to speak of as normal, or maybe I’m missing a bigger picture. I mean, after all the years of trying, you’d think there would be a sign.
Not saying living in circles is always bad. Sometimes it can be comforting.
Am I missing something?
Wouldn’t doubt it.
The skeptic paranoia in me…maybe.
Thank God I’m not a sadistic. -
David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:44 amAnd, if you get tired, you can even sit down while you spin … and have a cookie!
YouTube /watch?v=AV6vjO0_5V4
Maybe even some milk … but I prefer my milk shaken, not spun.
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David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:47 amAnd if you should fall, remember, it’s not the end of the world … just another learning experience:
YouTube
/watch?v=0ebjqAJPnQI&feature=related -
Marilyne Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 8:09 amWell, I feel like everyday is a routine. You have to get up, eat, go to work, eat, come back from work, eat, go to sleep, get up… sometimes routine is a comfortable feeling you don’t want to get out of, but at the same time, you can wait for some changes! I guess sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone.
Good luck!
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lena Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 8:15 amYour not alone. There are so many things I want to do but I never quite get the courage to do it so I end up sticking with what I’m used to, before long I start to get bored with same old routine and so the cycle continues…
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Aysha Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 8:20 amTook the words right out of my mouth, Allison, really. I feel that right now at this very moment.
I know I will have to take giant steps in order to move forward in my life, but at the same time, I feel like the hourglass has stopped pouring sand for just a moment. I feel I am at a fork in the road and I know which direction to take, but my feet won’t move.
Taking that first step is always the hardest and I let my fears get the best of me.
For me, change is the scariest thing in the world. I am never able to come to grips with change until it comes with a hammer pounding on my head. It is only when I am forced to change do I change.
I agree with Gnome. We need focus in order to move ahead.
I feel like a failure when I don’t move ahead or be productive all the time. It’s like if I sit still for too long, my self worth is compromised, but I can’t get out of it. I can’t bring myself to move, even though I know that it will make me feel better in the end.
Am I slightly masochistic in hiding?
Hmm…..
I say this a lot, but thank you for this post. I hope that you find what you are looking for and that you can free yourself from this loop. I hope to do the same!
Take it easy,
Aysha -
gaylady Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 8:50 ameveryone goes round in circles, but i see it more as a spiral. each time i come back round, i’ve gone a little higher up. and i always experience/accomplish something on the way round.
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Gnome Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 9:30 amGo round in circle for some time is not that bad….
Recognizing the holes in the ground can be the first step to go in another direction…. backward, forward …or even upward and downward. Depends how deep you dig on your stubborness …. -
Christnot Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 9:43 amgaylady and lena- Yeah, I guess patience has to be my faith of choice. Sometimes life is very slow for few. Maybe I just need a kick in the right direction or a sign, or both.
Aysha- Change can be daunting but I don’t think it’s the case for me. When ever a road trip comes along or my family starts to move, I get excited. If I get a new game or movie, I get sucked in for hours. When I found allisonmack.com, I’ve noticed I come here more often then myspace. Change, no matter big or small, rocks my world. I think my real fear is myself. To fear that I’ve overestimated myself, the fear that I will hurt people.
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Heather Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 9:50 amI feel this way nearly every single day. I tell myself each night before I go to bed that tomorrow will be the day I rid myself of this tail chasing so to speak and step out onto ground that is fresh and unbroken. But yet, when I open my eyes, I start the cycle all over again.
It is very frustrating because I know exactly what I want, but can’t seem to get there. I know it’s got alot to do with me holding myself back. Sometimes the monotony feels safer (for lack of better word), but other times I find myself about to burst with frustration at the lack of new scenery.
Each day I’m inspired in so many ways and yet for some reason, more often then not, I don’t take the action that I need to get somewhere new.
Maybe I am just scared? Maybe it’s not time yet? Or maybe I just need to stop waiting for the fear to subside and the time to be “right” and just close my eyes and venture out into the heavy traffic of something new.
It’s funny in a way, because I believe that my life is what I make it, and yet at times I sit around going, “alright come on…when are things going to change?” The truth is, I have to find the courage and strength to change them myself.
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Steve Heath Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 9:51 amHi Allison/Allison’s fans,
I don’t know if you will read this or if any of the fans will either. I think it’s human nature to feel like you are not getting anywhere when actually you touch people without realising it. I am a late fan of Smallville and I have just watched an episode from season 6 I think it’s called Hydro where Clark has a pop at Chloe for keeping a secret and Chloe lets him know how unfair he’s being…..absolutely brilliant writing and acting, and it really got to me.
I work as a finance guy trying to keep a company going through this difficult time, in my spare time I have nearly written a screenplay which has been nearly written for some time as I have got completely despondent as I feel what’s the point of finishing something no-one may want to read? Plus recently I got diagnosed with an illness, maybe it will beat me, maybe it won’t.
You talk about the next step being colossal yet you have achieved so much and I’m sure we haven’t seen the best of you yet. Take it one step at a time. Beating my illness seems like a colossal thing to me so I focus on the small goals, getting treatment, staying positive, doing anything and everything so I don’t have to think about the negative aspects. I even set myself stupid goals like if I’m here next month I can watch this match or if I keep going until Christmas I’ll treat myself to a trip to Paris….pretty daft really.
If you are going in circles – at least you are still going….think about the positive impact you’ve had on people’s lives and take pride in it and use it to achieve even more. I’ll try to take my own advice too!!!!
Lots of love and peace to you and your fans.
Best wishes
Steve Heath
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Smallvillekent Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 10:02 amAllison you are not alone on this one. We all know what this feels like. I myself feel like I am always going in circles. Sometimes it takes a long time to get there, however, sooner or later you do. If you are at all like Chloe I would say you are moving foward. Chloe has grown the must of all the characters on Smallville. Good Luck with the directing we all support you. All the best. Peter
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Gnome Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 10:07 amI’m thinking about increase my circle radius ……….
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David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 10:24 amThe foot being glued while you spin is the worst part. You can get your leg all twisted up.
daybow[dot]com
/image_files/AM_Twist.jpg -
johnny GV Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 10:24 amallison im from cancún México and im chazing my tail too, jajajaj sounds funny, but doesnt matter where u are in the world, the feeling its the same, , so i dont know if is a good or bad thing , but the feeling its so funny and scary at the same time. As a part of a society that runs so fast, we try to chase our goals, and sometimes, we feel like we are left behind, but in reality every head its a world so, its important to know that the feelings we have, are a state of mind, and all the world have their own stuff to take care off, so i think that we´re not spinning, we´re only waiting to be saved by our heroes to make the things easyer, but the truth is that there are not heroes in the world, only sharks, and we have to put our shit toghether in order to discover our inner heroes, and move forward. its like being on the edge of a mountain and not knowing if jumping will set us free or not. but in the end we have to discover it by waking up from the dazed and confused atmosphere of society. u rock allison
see ya -
BRITTANY Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:20 amI can totally understand where you are coming from. I feel the same way. I am at a crossroad in my life… The transition from being a little girl to being a grown woman… Circles… yeah, that is approprate!
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Tony Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:24 amSteve Heath,
I appreciate your comments, and I just wanted to let you know that I read them. You remind me that every step we take is important, and that we need to remember to be thankful that we are able to take it. The big ones and the little ones, they all add up. Our own illnesses, and those of others, teach us to be patient and supportive of others and with ourselves. Our accomplishments are what they are. Writing that screen play is an important step in itself. It’s a self-affirmation and a positive example to your friends and family. So, even more so, is your working on your illness. You are sharing yourself in every effort you make. Oh! And you’re doing a very good job of sharing with your post!–Tony
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Viktoria Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:26 amI don’t know what to say. To me my life is a circle, the second things start to look up something happens and again .. then it starts to look up and again. i want to step up and change it! but how? and what if what ever i try will just make things worse? i have an ok job but i want a better one right now, so do i go and try to talk to bigger places? and what if i get hired there and won’t know wht to do! arg …. sorry im going crazy here!
I always told myself i will travel the world and will be happy ether rich or poor. Who knows. might still happen.
but allison, what do you want to do? what are your crazy dreams?
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Lauralea Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:27 am“Bright and early for the daily races, going no where… going no where.”
I totally understand where you are coming from Allison.
Last year in my Honors English class, this is all we learned about – How people always seem to be going in circles and repeating themselves.
Change is good. We strive for it. We live off of it. You shouldn’t be afraid of it. You should be asking for it.
This is a Mad World. The song originally sung by a band called Tears for Fears but remade by Gary Jules is a perfect example.
In my English class the teacher based the whole year around that song. & it really makes you think.
But none-the-less, Change is good. If you want it, get it.
I hope you figure out everything. <3 It’s not fun to be stuck in fast forward and rewind at the same time! D:
Good luck with everything and I can’t wait for you to direct!
I wish only the best for you,
Lauralea. -
Lou Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:32 amall that you can do, Allison, is to do what you think is best and other than that just give it time.
I can’t give any more specifics because I ain’t “in the know” with everything. but I will tell you that directing that episode of Smallville will be a great achievement in your career if it works out. if it doesn’t, at least you have a new appreciation of everything Directors do. Keep at it and take it easy.
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James Michael Blackburn Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:37 amI think I understand what you mean. I’m guessing for you though it’s career wise. Right now you’re one of the most important cast members of a popular tv show. Didn’t ya start off in films. I still remember Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves! You’ve come a long way sista’. I say you’re good where you’re at, unless there’s a part you’re dying for, or parts you’ve missed? There will be life after Smallville. You have talent. That’s all you need to know.
Now, if it’s about your love life, gotta page or three?
Enjoy the greatest time of the year!
Shit….. unlike me not to post a derdy werd.
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David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:42 amDon’t forget to rewind … or unwind (?) at the end of the day!
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Hammad Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:50 amThe first step is often times the most difficult because not only does it require learning something new, it requires overcoming the fear of doing something you’ve never done before. But to answer your question. Yes, in some things, one in particular. It is said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Sometimes I think I’m insane. Hell, I think others might also. I guess it all depends upon deciding between how badly you want to achieve the goal you want, and when to just give up.
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Keri Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 12:08 pmI’m feeling the exact same way. I want to be productive and useful, but I can never seem to find a way to do that so I just don’t do anything at all. Then I get a sudden spurt of inspiration to do something, and I do it, but sometimes I don’t have enough inspiration to finish it so I don’t. Then it was just a waste of time.
Seems like every time you write something on the blog, I can relate to it at that moment in time. Kind of funny, actually.~Keri
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Brendan Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 12:36 pmi’ve never heard it put this way. sometimes i actually feel that i’m in the middle of an open field with so many choices in every direction. so the concept of spinning in circles and just needing to take that first step is a great image that fits so well.
the only downside to that image is that is solidifies that for us to move on in our selective paths we must move away from where we are. and that is sometimes the hardest part, the fear of leaving something you deeply value behind.
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Eric Wilson Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 12:39 pmAllison, your not alone…. all of us friends/fans/families love you very much and care about you oh so very dearly!
I feel the same way as you do sweetheart, I find myself worried a lot since i don’t have anywhere to go and there are things I want to do and can’t do it…………………… Just don’t have a way i’m stuck at home am 30 years old living with my parents in a small twon called Hillsdale here in Michigan.
If i had lived in canada in which is where I want to live for the rest of my life until I die…………. Vancouver sounds exciting place to live in and in my future i wish to be an actor, but doesn’t have any experience to act just wish I had a family who should of been rich enough or have the money to help me to move where i want to be right now. Being home with parents and no jobs around in my town to get a job at anymore these days a lots of shops have closed and moved to like mexico, or canada, I do really wish there were something we could do to keep in touch and try to figure out the problem and probably could save my life to where I want to be!
Allison! I look forward hearing from you, love you very much and god bless you.
Thanks!
Eric Wilson
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Robin Hebert Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:07 pmI can totally relate to the feeling. But we cant sabotage our chance of enjoying the moment with feeling like we are missing out in life. But I guess the best thing when we are stuck is to look at what we have accomplished and enjoy where we are. That’s my thought. Robin
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Nathiest Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:09 pmIf I was your friend in real life I’d probable blow my brains out right about now. geesh. Really Allison seek drugs.
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Phil Damico Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:12 pm“Patience and fortitude conquer all things.”
-Emerson -
Maguii Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:15 pmI belive that everyone have those questions and we always try to answer them immediately…
I have the same fellings! But i start to think where i am, what i’ve got (friends and family) and also that every mistake or step we make it’s a lesson.
Kisses and hugs, allison! =) -
LisaGail Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:15 pmI think this feeling comes around from time to time for all of us. I’ve found that if I’m repeating something over and over, it’s because there’s still something that I need to do somewhere in the circle. Either better, or different, or more in someway or another. There’s an experence or detail that’s being over looked. Or it could be that someone else inside that circle isn’t quite ready for you to begin a new path. Best advice yet, enjoy it . . . this too shall pass
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Phil Damico Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:16 pm“Climb the stairway to the stars one step at a time.”
-Unknown -
Magie Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:21 pmCouldn’t have described my current mood any better. For me college seems like a constant circle because I know what I want to do and am pretty good at it so I don’t to wait four years and spend thousands to do it. I know that in the end it will all be worth it and pay off but right now I hate how useless it seems at the moment.
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Phil Damico Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 1:21 pm“It is more important to know where you are going then to get there quickly.”
-Mabel Newcomber -
Melissa Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 3:43 pmI feel the same. Maybe the reason why I’m doing the same thing over and over again and I’m stuck in one thing is because I might be afraid of what’s next for me, what is on my future, I’m only 16 and sometimes I wonder if I’m gonna get what I always wanted, like a wonderful job or a stable place to live, with all these moves between Spain and Peru I don’t even know where I’m going to live, I feel like my future is unclear…..but I can change that, because I do know what I want but I’m afraid of getting it. I’m afraid of loosing or forget all these good experiences and great people because at some point I will have to live them to get what I want, and that scares the heck out of me.
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taylor nikole Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 4:07 pm“but I can change that, because I do know what I want but I’m afraid of getting it. I’m afraid of loosing or forget all these good experiences and great people because at some point I will have to live them to get what I want, and that scares the heck out of me.”
if you think about it, being so ‘young’ we haven’t gotten a chance to really be on our own yet… so I’d expect it to be scary.
We say we want so many things, plan out years in advance how we are going to accomplish it…
but when it really gets down to it… we’re afraid.
i guess that goes for almost every body though.
We always tend to in a way doubt.. its inevitable. -
taylor nikole Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 4:18 pmMy quote collection for the day… maybe a little to think on (just fun and yes i have them for the day :-p)
Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.
–Evan Esar“There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.”
“Although little knowledge is dangerous, so is a lot. I guess this makes me the most dangerous person in the universe.”
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
–Laurence J. Peter
Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything.
–Floyd Dell“Laziness is the ambition to do nothing”
–Taylor Hughes I (friend)I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
–George Bernard ShawCynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt… Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
–Robert Anton WilsonIdealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
–David T. WolfEqual opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
–Laurence J. Peter
Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
–Frank Leahy -
Brittany Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 4:35 pmYou are not alone dear Allison! I’ve struggled with the same thing, not moving forward, repeating something frequently and then I get the boost to actually get to the next step. I’m in the midst of watching Camp Nowhere. You are so cute!!!!! I can’t believe that’s you. I wish I had that oppurtunity to have acted at such a young age especially in a movie! Just hold on a little bit, you’ll get through, I know you will, Much love and support, Brittany XOXO
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Robin Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 5:22 pmDon’t worry Allison, as the above comments state, we all feel this way sometimes.
We all have ambitions and places where we picture ourselves yet feel as though we are standing still.
As the saying goes sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.
Remember each day is a journey and each experience we have (hopefully) educates us and shapes our future decisions.
Having been accepted back in the Police Service I feel as though I’ve come full circle, but with any luck a bit older and a little wiser and a lot richer for having different experiences which I hope gives me a better ability to relate with others.
Look at it this way…we are all constantly moving on this big object called Earth, which is in constant motion, it just appears to be standing still, the reality is we all grow and develop it just doesn’t always feel like it.
If you are in any doubt, just list all the things you have achieved over the past year- just think how many lives you have had AND continue to have such a positive influence on.
If all else fails I look bag on old photos of myself and can clearly see an expanding waistline and a receding hairline…haha.. things change alright!
Keep having fun.
Robin
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Taty Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 5:44 pmI know exactly how you feel, Allison. I actually have the same feeling sometimes.
But when I’m Mixed up, confused, happy, sad, excited, guilty, hurt, grateful, hopeful, hopeless, regret, etc… I always put my trust in God and He gives me peace of mind and heart. So, I feel so much better!!!
Take care!
xoxo -
viviane Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:00 pmhi!
Allison can assure that you are not alone, because everyone has felt walking in circles at least once in a lifetime! I’m feeling well at the moment!
but this goes! This feeling bad is passenger!
I hope you get well soon and if you feel better fast!take care … love
viviane – Brazil
xoxo
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Scott123 Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:05 pmLife is a struggle. Not all the time, but sometimes. It is, sadly, the doom of the artist that, not only do they struggle, but examine the struggle as well. I would like to point out that some of the greatest art comes from artists who struggled. I would humbly say-that circle can become a comfort zone. If that becomes the case, find another means of struggling.
Your friend in the 210th lap
Scott123 -
jennygirl Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:07 pmI feel like this at times, but when I look back at where I was 5 years ago…10 years ago, much progress has been made. Like raising kids….longest days, and the fastest years. Home with a baby….will I ever have my life back again? Then your son is suddenly 8, and you wonder what happened to your cute little babes?
Relax….breathe…..enjoy right now.
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Krystal Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:25 pmDay in and day out I say to This student “Be respectful to all human beings.” I say to That student “Please consider your actions and the way that they will affect others.” Yet, I never come to a point where my gentle reminders are not needed. One student needs it one day and then a new one tomorrow. Some days I think that it would be just as effective to slam my head into a brick wall than to keep repeating the things I believe that my students need to hear….but I know if I persist in my circular behavior….some how, someone will benefit from the diligence of standing firm in what motivates me….and that will essentially be forward motion that may be unknown to me forever. Yet there is forward motion.
Did I make any sense? lol.
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shinefloyd / luigi Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 7:50 pmYes… I do… and sometimes like a dog with two tails!!
and spinning in “perfect circles”.
But always with a BIG smile.Allison… go ahead! you can!
ps to David Hayes…
another brick in the wall??? lol
ok… “The Final Cut” (Roger Waters):“Through the fish-eyed lens of tear stained eyes
I can barely define the shape of this moment in time
And far from flying high in clear blue skies
I’m spiraling down to the hole in the ground where I hide.”…….. -
David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 8:41 pmSeven years as Chloe … heading towards nine. Is that a problem? Most of us who live in one character (yet evolving/devolving over time) have to learn to express ourselves through … ourselves. But for someone who puts on someone else’s life as a garment to express herself, can being one character so long be a trap … or can the creativity continue to shine through?
I can relate in that, for a period of years, I had at most 3 weeks and often less to create a product from a concept. I got so well conditioned to function under ridiculous timelines that I can lo longer design in a leisurely way. I am stuck on full speed ahead. Then along came a project that kept being redefined so that I was working on the same product for over a year. It’s hard to operate at a crawl when I have been trained to believe that everything will fall apart if decisions can’t be made in moments. I just want to say, “Come back in a year when you make up your mind about what you want.” So if I am asked what I would do if I had all the time in the world … I would probably have to answer, “Go crazy.” I’m used to diversity. I’m used to moving on. I don’t think I could handle doing exactly the same thing day after day … but then, when I was in school, I never thought I could handle a job without occasional (yearly) 3 month breaks. Then I went into the world and didn’t take a vacation in a decade. You don’t really know what you can handle until you face it. Also, being creative can provide an escape. When my creativity at work got stifled, that’s when the stories started pouring out of me. Outlets are important. Too many outlets are draining. Dealing with success is sometimes harder than dealing with failure … especially if you have a lot of experience failing. When the job market was tough, I went from temp job to temp job to temp job … never finding work in an area that I was an expert at. So I grew tremendously. When times were stable and I didn’t move around, I learned much less. It’s a tricky thing, getting enough adversity in a life to grow and not so much that you can’t survive it.
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Lori Bennett Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 8:44 pmyou are definately not alone in that feeling. as many of us on this site express our own stories-I can say for myself that going to class during the day and working in the evenings and trying to fit church, family, friends in that time that remains still trying to fit that little of me time in to unwind. I find myself chasing my tail constantly-doing project after project plus the homework and i get one finished and start another just to go to class the next day to get more in different classes and its like “does the cycle ever end.” lol. ur not alone allison my friend, we all have our daily routines and whether we are honest w/ ourselves we chase our tails too. can’t wait to see the episode u are directing. all the luck to you girlfriend.
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Kyle Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 8:54 pmYeah, I hate the feeling. It’s extremely stagnant and unproductive. I have found if you set reasonable goals and follow through on them you are more likely to accomplish you’re purpose.
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taylor nikole Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 9:12 pm“Seven years as Chloe … heading towards nine. Is that a problem? Most of us who live in one character (yet evolving/devolving over time) have to learn to express ourselves through … ourselves. But for someone who puts on someone else’s life as a garment to express herself, can being one character so long be a trap … or can the creativity continue to shine through?”
hmm this is kinda true
Each week my acting coach challenges me to become a new character.
So I’m either me… or my character…
its a weird but cool concept and feeling.
talking about shining…
you make yourself shine and your character shine so if it were an alter ego…
would we infact be two people at once? or just one?But I was saying, through exploring characters I’ve become more comfortable with being someone else.
When I find the difference between them… or try to analyze, im afraid to explore me.
Being a character gives you hope….
you can be a character, act out a character in everyday life…
but when do you really discover when you aren’t acting opposed to when you’re being youself.
I’ve found myself struggling mentally with that.
Its really odd to think about. -
Bouroux Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 9:19 pmHi Allison.
Often when I want to do too many things at the same time, I’ve the impression that I am chasing my tail.
Because we did not see the beginning and end. I think not see the end of the process is a source of concern. There are a link with the ego.
Not knowing the end increases the risk.
If the alternative of the status quo is present, the choice is easy. I think we should take small uncertain projects for take confidence.
I work at the same place for 18 years and the idea of making a change is not in the program. The internal changes provide me enough challenges.
For an actor, projects have limited duration. The length of some is only a few months, another few years. Play the same character for 8 years allows to develop and you’ve done wonderfully.
Alice and Huck is the beginning of the transition and it’is a success.
Directing an episode is another step.
Playing Brainiac in the body of Chloe will be an amazing challenge.
Watch episodes of Smallville and discover why your fans appreciate your performance. The self-esteem must be used as a catalyst and not a brake.
Takes care of you and enjoys the present season.
Good night.Bye
Claude. -
David Hayes Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 10:52 pmThere have been cases in soap operas when an actor has played a single character for decades!
When I was writing a lot of random stories and finally challenged myself to do a seires of at least 20 revolving around a single character’s life, the main part of the challenge became defining a single character so well as to breathe life in her — consistant as a person is … and as inconsistant … struggling for identity as I struggled to find what would make her real to me and others. I wanted to see if I could do a written portrait of a person’s life. I imagine the goals must be similar when acting to make a character live.
The thing I wonder about was if the writers for “Smallville” made Chloe more and more like Allison … wrote the role as her fictionalized … or …. Starting over. Where is Chloe in character so different from Allison that Allison has to reach to be her? Of course, Allison isn’t experiencing the losses and fears and riumphs that Chloe does, but where are the core philosophical differences where Chloe and Allison would, in conversation, have basic disagreements? Because the character and actress are becoming so tightly identified in many viewers’ minds, I would love to see her (and imagine she would like to have this happen as well) in a drastically different role. And, sadly, I can’t say what that role would be. The real challenge would probably be as a serial killer or mass murderess. And I hate to say that because stories about serial killers are almost becoming a genre in themselves and that’s a shame. We seem obsessed with them and God help us if our interest in them spawn more of them. The character I envision would be strong and impact the story through direct action and not manipulation — at least not the cliche type of female manipulation … maybe the ‘mastermind’ type of manipulation where an understanding of human nature is incorporated in a clever, inticate, fool-proof plan. Another option would be a biographical piece about a pivotal historical figure that hasn’t gotten her dues.
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taylor nikole Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 10:55 pmhehe my friend was like…
omg, the shrewd humor, snarkiness, slightly rude personality (at times)…
and that nosey personality…apparently the character of chloe reminded her of someone, as she glared at me
yikes…
but hey its not a bad thing….
i guess haha
also being ambitious is a good thing and independent…eh david?
lol -
silvia Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:15 pmI been feeling that way for years now…spinning in circles. sometimes it seems like the rest of the world is having fun around me. Each chapter in our lives is a journey, that will soon become a memory…we must live in our chapter as if it is the most important one! Believe it or not, your performance as Chloe Sullivan every Thursday is the highlight of my week. You and Tom together on screen brings JOY to my life.
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Sarah Says:
October 1st, 2008 at 11:18 pmAll the freakin’ time. Especially being a music major I feel like I just re-learn the stay stuff over and over without ever getting anywhere.
But then I play something I couldn’t play 2 years ago–I do get better. It just seems to go so slow sometimes.
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Puffy Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 12:40 amPersonally I feel like I’m travelling in triangles. Circles have smooth progression back to the start… triangles have sharp turns and pointy ends.
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David Hayes Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 amPuffy,
Just as long as they aren’t Bermuda trianlges … while wearing Bermuda shorts … while eating Bermuda onions. That’s tempting fate. And don’t travel in a polygon … or your parrot will disappear!
===========
A friend named her cat Isosceles
(after the triangle) and the human society was concerned that the name was Satanic. I think the people at the human society were thinking of “Mestopholes.” -
alicia Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:29 amI know this feeling very well… Allison…i had an anxiety crisis for a long time cuase of it. (Its frustating, I have this feeling when i try speak english!)
Sometimes we are so obsessed with the goal that did not enjoy the way…
“Life is what is happening to you while you are committed to making other plans” (or something like that). John Lennon. -
David Hayes Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:22 amOne tough thing about posting a log like this, sometimes you can’t tell if a blog like this is simply a philisophical inquiry … or a cry for help. I’m hoping its the former.
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David Hayes Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:23 amlog = blog
I keep dropping letters.
Now I’ll have to vacuum.
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Steve Heath Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:38 amTo Tony,
Thanks for reading my post and for the kind words.
It is appreciated.
Regards,
Steve Heath
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SolShine7 Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:27 amYou’re not alone in this. Sara Groves writes this in a song, “I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacked. The future seems so hard and I want to go back. But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I’ve learned. And those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned.” Keep pressing on Allison!
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nobody-agan Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:47 amIt’s not you, it’s the evil forces surrounding you that prevent you from making any headway. I’ve been spinning is circles for years, everytime I try to take a step forward, something hits me so hard I’m knocked back a hundred steps and I have to start over again, but after being knocked down so many fucking times, I don’t bother to try to get back up, I just said fuck it, I give up!
Ok, by.
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Dick B Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:24 amDear Allison,
I guess my first question is are you looking for advice or sympathy. What I like is that you are making yourself vulnerable in order to find the answer.
Chasing your tail? Maybe you need to do it a certain number of times before you can commit to the answer you seem to already know. It can be scary out there, but I have confidence in your ability to proceed.
Dick B
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David Hayes Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:33 amI’m reminded of a song.
“Windmills of Your Mind”
Round, like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel.
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnaval balloon
Like a carousell that’s turning
Running rings around the moonLike a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it’s face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mindLike a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of it’s own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream.Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it’s face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mindKeys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle your head
Why did summer go so quickly
Was it something that I said
Lovers walking allong the shore,
Leave their footprints in the sand
Was the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your handPictures hanging in a hallway
And a fragment of this song
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hairLike a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the circle that you find
In the windmills of your mindPictures hanging in a hallway
And the fragment of this song
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hairLike a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind -
Sherann Johnson Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:47 amNo, my dear Allison you are not alone:). I have been dealing with the same problem for some time now. I have this goal, this dream that I want to accomplish, but lately it feels like I’m not getting any closer. I still feel greatly inspired and motivated to achieve this goal, but taking the journey to get to it does seem….well, as you said colossal.
For me it’s just a matter of patience. I have this destiny thats far bigger than I could ever imagine, and I can’t wait to get there, but right now I just need to be patient and get the college education I need before I go chasing the stars:)
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Sherann Johnson Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:56 amTo be honest there are a lot of college kids who feel this way.
We all do this thing called college where everyday we do the same thing. We get up, go to classes, eat, study, and then go to bed. Then the next day we do it all over again. Don’t get me wrong college is a great experience. But we as college students also have a goal (a major). Some of us though after 1 or 2 years of college grow weary of our journey to reach our goal. We start to ask questions like,”I this what I really want to do with my life?” and questions like, “I’m going to be in college forever…do I really want to do this.” And then there are those of use who don’t know what we want to do and just kind of keep going to college. The years it can take for us to get through college can give us this feeling that all we are doing is going in circles.
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Tony Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:58 amSince I’m writing at the end of so much advice, I wonder if I can’t consolidate some of the issues that have already been discussed, see if this describes part of our group windmill:
If we know what we want, but it seems so colossal to take the next step, I’m thinking that it may mean leaving something behind that is important to us, and starting on something new and challenging that might not succeed. Is it possible to continue to test the waters and not leave behind something we’re not yet ready to part with? Or, is the next step colossal enough that we will need more time to accomplish it than our present circumstances would allow?
Some more questions: Are my goals actually taking me in different, possibly conflicting directions? Are they going to get in the way of each other. Am I feeling conflicted because it seems as if now is my best chance to take this step, that the opportunities might not be as good in the future? But, on the other hand, do I feel like I’m being forced into rushing it as if Life is a used car salesman telling me that I’ll never get as good a deal as this if I turn this one down?
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Sherann Johnson Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:03 amjust adding onto my comment before tony. Yea so don’t feel down:) We all have those times in our life when we just feel stuck. If you believe in prayer, I would pray for more opportunities to open up.
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Ross UK Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:29 amI know exactly what you mean Allison. I’m at a point in my life now where everything seems to be falling apart at the seams – things are regressing to about the point where I was about five years ago and just finishing university. It’s supposed to be the time where everything is laid out ahead of you, ready for the taking, but instead you can find yourself making so many false starts you wonder if you’re ever going to be able to get going again.
It’s most frustrating when you manage to build up a bit of momentum and you think to yourself “OK, here we go” and suddenly you hit a brick wall and you’re stalled again. It’s times like that we need something or someone around us to help us to our feet and try again. I’m reminded of the quote from Batman Begins: “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”
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Christnot Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:38 am{{Life is a struggle. Not all the time, but sometimes. It is, sadly, the doom of the artist that, not only do they struggle, but examine the struggle as well. I would like to point out that some of the greatest art comes from artists who struggled. I would humbly say-that circle can become a comfort zone. If that becomes the case, find another means of struggling.
Your friend in the 210th lap
Scott123}}Love the notion.
It is also very true. -
Brent Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:01 pmAre you really going to read all these? Probably.
Yes, I do feel that way sometimes as well. Almost like I’m going to burst if I don’t take a step. Is it fear? Is it just the whole “unknown” factor? For the longest time I knew what I wanted to be and what direction I wanted my life to head in. For some reason though, I just couldn’t move; doing it seemed so HUGE. It was certainly clear in my mind but the actualizing part seemed impossible. I moved to Philadelphia and New York two months ago to pursue my “desire”. It is still very scary, and still seems BIG. But, I just keep taking one step in front of the other and keep moving forward.You are one hell of an inspiration, Allison. You are so talented in so many ways that it makes my head spin. Just keep moving forward. The opportunities that you have due to your celebrity are more than you know. Much, much love to you.
-Brent
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Bla Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 pmwe, at times, will chase our tail… it’s just natural. enjoy life more, Allison. be patient, and just enjoy life. the time for breakthrough will come at the exact moment. meanwhile, work on your patience… >_<
Regards
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taylor nikole Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pmrandom story sorry:
so there is this boy at my school with down syndrome… and something always intrigued me about him and I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Well, I saw him while i was walking home from school and he was walking with his mom.
I saw them stop about 20 feet in front of me and she pointed up into the trees and his face lit up… there were birds and they were flying around. Then I noticed what it had been that intrigued me so much, even through all the frustration i’ve witnessed seeing in him while hes passed me in the halls and at lunch… he takes a minute to stop and appreciate life and all the small things that we don’t think about.
The look of amazement, wonder and happiness on his face while his mother was talking to him about the birds made me smile and in a way want to follow his example.
He may not have noticed it, but he’s inspired me to take a breather every once in a while and notice the small things… just sit, watch, wonder and continue to be intrigued.
I thought about it all the way home and kinda wanted to share it
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Eddie Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:41 pmDon’t worry sometimes I see my cat chasing his tail and I am wondering if he is thinking the same thing. Well it’s normal. When we start thinking about moving on to other things..even if they are outside our comfort zone. Sometimes it does make us chase our tail and run around in circles because were so used to doing it. It’s routine.. ordinary and it’s a horrible cycle to try and break. Sometimes we all just need to close our eyes..jump.. and wish for the best. It’s truely the only way to grow.
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The Friday Philosopher Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:47 pmI think it’s safe to say Taylor that you don’t need to apologise for random stories when the subject is inspiration!
At least that’s what I think anyway.
Friday
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taylor nikole Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 3:50 pmhahah Friday, I actually agree
and thanks haha -
David Hayes Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:19 pmNew nickname for Allison: Cyclone Allie.
===
Oh Boy! Today is the 2nd day of my work week due to Rosh Hashanah. It doesn’t seem like Thursday. I’m stuck at work. Maybe I’ll get to see “Smallville” tomorrow night if the Tivo’s doing its job.
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shamanking Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 5:29 pmthis is good but I have one that is going to allison finger at the defender.
talves wonder that good a day watching things on the web, I found a page that displays the etymological origin and meaning of names and I happened to put some names to knew and guess which had a very interesting meaning.
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Jessica Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:42 pmYou are so not alone in this! I also feel that way sometimes
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David Hayes Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:29 pmLeave the spinning to experst!
YouTube
watch?v=2cVuDDBqljM
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Stephanie P Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:50 pmI know what you mean. Its like I know what I want to do with my life, and Im trying to do it but at the same time Im second guessing myself. Its kinda like your at the bottom of a set of stairs, and what you want is at the top, and you know you want it but for ever two steps you take up the stairs, you always take one back.
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kadosho Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:08 pmBeen feeling like this for a long time. As of late, its been some family emergency (;-; a few winding up in the hospital for awhile). Its been some of the craziest times this month alone..
As far as life so far, its still just getting through “that door”. I want to get through it, but there are so many barriers. Although I do get this feeling, an opportunity is coming.
Maybe I am scared of doing something like this alone?
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Jade Ruby Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:37 pmNo Allison, you are not alone. Thanks to your blog, what used to be more distant and intangible has become more immediate. Sensitivity, leadership, initiative, negotiation. Finding the balance may never be easy for some; however, the intangible of us basking in the magnificent warmth of your presence can never be underestimated. Thank you so much Allison for being. . .
you. -
Andrea Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:40 pmI dont think you are alone in this at all really. =)
There are so many things I want from life…and so many goals, and yet half of the time I find myself standing still.
I think that has to do with my fear of the unknown. It’s easy to say I want this…or that…but actually leaving the comfort of my day to day life and truly branching out in a new adventure scares the hell out of me. So I end up chasing my tail…and finding content in what I have.
In a lot of cases, I’m confused about what the best move for me is. Some days I want to drop out of college…and do something radical like join the peace core. But then I know the time I’m invested into school will have it’s pay off one day. Then other instances I know it’s time for a change…but I just cant seem to figure out how to go about it. Or if by some miracle I do know the next step…is it worth the risk of leaving what I’ve already built for myself?
It seems to be the way people (or atleast I) function. It’s about weighing our options and deciding where to go from there, and having the courage to take a step out of the little circle in the ground.
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taylor nikole Says:
October 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 pmOH MY GOSH
sarah palin drives me insane
just thought id share.
She used ‘heck of alota” in her VP debate…
go herehh sorry, im just scared of how this presidential election is going to turn out
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taylor nikole Says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 12:28 amahh and i was reading my text book today for history…
and there was a big question in blue that asked
“What do we learn from art?”
I read the subsections… and there was no discussion or ‘answer’ to the question.
How cool and so random!
It kinda just made my mind veer in class and just think and think about it.
My mind was running at a billion thoughts a minute.. trying to put pieces of art together in my head.. and try to see what it taught me
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Scott Says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:24 amAllison.
Everyone here, really.
I am going to share some of my long-time favorite songs and lyrics to them because I am drawn to do so here. I would normally feel awkward about giving you links to full songs uploaded to youtube, I’m not so concerned at the moment. I’m only giving the name of the site then the extension because for some reason having links doesn’t work anymore… sorry if the last time I did that caused problems.
“Pray” from the Final Fantasy: Pray soundtrack
Youtube /watch?v=gM1C1-ekTI8
Lyrics: fflyrics /ffpray.html#p“The Dream Within” by Lara Fabian
Youtube /watch?v=LJINX_lROTI
Lyrics: fflyrics /fftsw.html#tdw“Love Will Grow” from the Final Fantasy: Love Will Grow soundtrack
Youtube /watch?v=fJUBPa1qrAQ
Lyrics: fflyrics /fflwg.html#lwg“Somnia Memorias” from the Parasite Eve soundtrack
Youtube /watch?v=83-1RU1V5Nk
Lyrics: fflyrics /pe.html#smThere are a lot of great songs within the soundtracks themselves as well. The two Final Fantasy ones have a variety of English, Japanese, Spanish and French lyrics to the songs.
I think I was inspired to post them because of your goal toward inspiring humanity and looking to the whole world rather than only certain segments. I have many songs in this vein in my collection, yet these seemed meaningful to post here.
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Vegas911 Says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:02 amMan, I know what you are saying!!! I feel like I am insane…you know the kind where you keep repeating the same actions over and over but expect a different result?? I have got about 10 holes that I have dug in my life chasing my own tail…..When I finally get out of that hole I just ware a new one….is a cycle that I would gladly break…if I had the first clue as to how!
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Neil Says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:15 amI’ve learned something during my time in sales. The definition of “insanity” is doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. If something doesn’t work for you anymore, make some changes that might get better results.
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Sally Says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:38 pmOMG! Allison. I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same way right now. Like I know what I want to do and where I want to end up but all of the small things I’m supposed to do to get there makes me feel like I’m going in circles doing the same things over and over and getting no where. It’s nice to see there are other people out there who feel the same way.
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Spiritman Says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:10 pmI was going to leave another one of my very long posts but I saw that David Hayes said a lot of what I was thinking. I have rarely seen another person that is really so NOT stuck. You are evolving at a tremendous rate, girl! But I think that I understand your feeling. There is an awareness in you that’s coming to the forefront of what you CAN become. And I think you want to experience a lot of that right NOW. Join the club. But be patient. Most of us would give our eye teeth to be where you are now and have the unique opportunities that are laid out like a long red carpet in front of you. And that carpet is strewn with precious diamonds for you. But even those precious jewels are small and dull compared to the jewel you are becoming. You are just becoming very sensitized to your seeming limitations. My friend, your smile alone can heal a lot of hearts in this world. You vastly underestimate your power right now, let alone the power of where you’re headed. There is SO much love around you, so many of what some may call angels. Just listen… and then go out and light up the darkened places with your smile, with your compassion. You already have enough of the tools. First rule: Giving and receiving are exactly the same thing. The more you offer from your heart, the more you will get of what you are looking for. How much love is coming to you right NOW? Feel it. Use it. Become it. You fill MY heart just thinking about you.
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Kathy-Lynn Brown Says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:53 pmI am so with you on this. Every since I was a little girl I have wanted to become a writer. I love movies and the whole concept that surrounds them. I have the talent and I know that the good Lord above gave it to me to share with the world. To tell stories for the world to read or watch to take them from their mundane lives to some where that can touch their hearts or make them laugh. I have plenty of ideals and have started so many movies, my only problem is that I can’t seem to make myself sit down and finish one before I start the other. I know what I want to help from the beginning to the end. I just can’t seem to get there. I know what steps I need to take to make my dreams and goals come true, but it’s seems like a task I can’t complete. My husband always tells me that my work is great and should be shared with the world, why is it that its so hard for me to put on my shoes and take that next step?
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Kathy-Lynn Brown Says:
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:55 pmI am so with you on this. Every since I was a little girl I have wanted to become a writer. I love movies and the whole concept that surrounds them. I have the talent and I know that the good Lord above gave it to me to share with the world. To tell stories for the world to read or watch to take them from their mundane lives to some where that can touch their hearts or make them laugh. I have plenty of ideals and have started so many movies, my only problem is that I can’t seem to make myself sit down and finish one before I start the other. I know what I want to happen from the beginning to the end. I just can’t seem to get there. I know what steps I need to take to make my dreams and goals come true, but it’s seems like a task I can’t complete. My husband always tells me that my work is great and should be shared with the world, why is it that its so hard for me to put on my shoes and take that next step?
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Michael Coco Says:
October 6th, 2008 at 9:09 pmYou are not alone in that feeling allison…i feel that way everyday…but i do see the light at the end of the tunnel
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Alasdair Says:
October 12th, 2008 at 1:35 pmI check into your blog from time to time and just read this post.
It spoke to me as if I was listening to the voice within. As you can see from the 115 posts before me (I hope you read this far down) you are definately not alone in this feeling although I know it feels as if you are.
I’ve been stuck in this state of being for so long now I can’t see an alternitive
I hope you’ve found your way out Allison!! -
Ruth Says:
October 15th, 2008 at 1:30 pm‘It is feeling inspired and frozen at the same time; feeling the need to sprint with my feet super glued to the starting blocks.’
Perfect way to put it. Never alone. As much as we feel alone at times, we are never truly alone. The world is full of kindreds. The only way to live with peace in these stagnant times is to embrace life for what it is, living fully in the moment, loving “what is.” Everything you go through is exactly what you need to grow through. Embrace it with gratitude and grow! You are a radiant soul on a human journey…live it fully with grace and wisdom…and laughter.
love love love and peace….
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Tressa Bailey Says:
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:02 pmI’m one of your over-aged fans, been reading you for a while. You seem like you really care about people and things, too much if that is possible. All I can tell you is that I have often felt the way you do, every change brings trepidation and excitement. At 46 I’m still glued but running. It feels good now. Pity those who don’t feel that way.
Best of luck to you young friend.
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Adrian P Says:
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:36 pmi know it’s an old entry but had to post. i mean this happens to me all the time (and i know it does to many more people).
well since a little kid i’ve always wanned to be an actor, an since my mother is an artist too i thought this was easy, but i hasn’t been… for the past few years i’ve been trying to see how to stop this circle of no doing anything (since here the problem is that they don’t take to much care in art and i don’t know any actting school or anything (venezuela ) ), but after readding one of your posts the other day about the ‘VFS (vancouver film school), i did my research and i really love the place and the thing the offer (and the kind of people that come out form there), so i asked a few questions, but since i’m studing a career here and don’t have money to move to canada yet (and living there was always been my dream so), i think i’ll have to be patient, but at least now i found something so am happy lets hope i won’t be spinning in circles again.
and i hope you get out of your circle too, i’m here to support
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Jenn Says:
November 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 pmTo answer your question. Yes. A lot of us feel like that. I find that I used to stay stationary and “talk” a lot but never “do”. Then I decided one day that I wanted more out of life than that. I think it’s because we are comfortable staying in that little hole. It’s safe and wonderful. But you are going to outgrow that hole whether you want to or not, because it is the human experience to grow and expand. You will be afraid because it means so much to you and the outcome is sometimes uncertain. But embrace the opportunity to continue your spiritual journey. Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.(I am not sure who’s quote that is, but I carry it close to my heart) So be prepared to be scared. Jump right in because that means you are on the right path to what’s important to you! Happy trails!
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Beth Says:
December 29th, 2008 at 7:03 pmI understand exactly what you mean. I feel like I could’ve written those words myself.
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