On directing, direction, and work.
Posted by Allison Mack | Filed under Blog
Completed my first week as a television director. Holy shit! That really sums it all up. I have never felt so fulfilled, nor pushed so hard as I have this week. All the things I have ever loved culminated in to this experience and it was truly incredible. I had moments almost hourly of total doubt and misery, followed by unbelievable satisfaction and excitement. Soon, the doubt was divorced from the misery, and I simply felt unsure. I felt ok about abandoning the misery because I knew it was fleeting. As well, I had no time to wallow. The speed by which our technicians work is staggering, and I was awe inspired by their dedication and work ethic.
I found myself feeling very emotional at several points throughout the week, just so blown away by the support and love that came pouring out of this group of people. It ‘s a real example of what we are capable of as human beings. What is so beautiful about us as a species and how truly beautiful our essence is.
I feel the need to apologize again for having dropped the ball on this community, but honestly, I think I needed to take a few steps back and begin to look at the reasons I was doing what I was doing for myself. I have spent the last 26 years playing for the audience and never really seeing myself in any experience unless someone else was there to witness it for me.
So I had 2 modes of operation.
1. Very vibrant, committed and aware aka performance mode, or
2. Totally quiet, often despondent, and quite shut off aka not performance mode.
Never really allowing myself to be a viewer in my own life, or ever seeing the value in taking things in for myself, I completely threw away any thoughts I would have that I didn’t share with another person in some way. So in building this community I was re-enacting this same habit.
Taking my own experiences and validating them through the knowledge that others would read and approve.
Consequently I was running around in my life looking for events to document, stories to tell, thoughts to share, and ways to gain approval. This then culminated into a lifetime of experiences once removed.
Always on the outside of my life looking in and waiting for the next cool something to come along so that I could use it to confirm my identity, my sense of myself, through the reactions of other people.
So I move through life, with no sense of self unless I am experiencing someone else’s reaction to me and no sense of alive-ness unless I am reacting to another person.
A life of objectification, entitlement, obligation, and anger. This is not what I want to do. And so the exercise of alone-ness, self identification begins. Within this process, I have taken more in for myself, and have been struggling to find the balance between how much to share and how much to hold, how much needs to be said and how much doesn’t and why. It all comes down to why?
So pardon me for taking a bit of time off, and pardon me for objectifying you in order to satisfy me.
All of this from directing an episode of Smallville, heh?
xo
warmly,
allison
Tags: Directing, objectification, work ethic
107 Responses to “On directing, direction, and work.”
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Lydia Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:30 pmI’m happy for you that you are enjoying your directorial debut and that you are working with wonderful people.
Being an actress, a director, a singer, a writer, an artist,…is what you do, it’s part of your life but, it’s not who you are. You are ‘Allison’, a gorgeous woman who is on a journey and who wants to enjoy life to the full, make a difference, share heartfelt moments with people you love, etc. and, I wish you the best in life.
I’m grateful that you share your thoughts and experiences but, you are entitled to have a life of your own. It is sweet but, you don’t have to apologize.:-)Just be yourself, believe in yourself, feel the passion, enjoy it all in and listen to your inner voice.
I wish you well. -
Darwin Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:33 pmWell that sense of “aliveness” and that sense of “self-identification” even…validation…has to come from within.
Or it is just a house of cards waiting to be toppled by the first “shudder” from a gnat in the neighborhood!
This happens enough…with no solid…anchor in truth within…and it leads to suicide in some people.
Many a person…even those who DON’T believe in God…have said when someone they know takes their own life…
“We will never know the demons that plagued them.”
And it IS true…
We may never know the names of their demons…or the demons strength…or the
number of demons they faced.But we CAN know one thing for certain.
Demons LIE.
And if we do not have the TRUTH of
…we matter…
…we count for something…
…we don’t need to hate ourselves…
…we have worth…
…we have purpose…
Even if we have not found it yet.
To be able to trust from within…that there IS more…and things WILL get better…
And we CAN figure it out…and be part of the solution and stop being part of our own problem…
Because the demons CANNOT destroy us without our help.
That kind of core strength…that kind of centering…
DOES require “honest” introspection.
And just like you, Allison…CHOSE to abandon the wallowing…walk away from the misery and embrace our “beautiful essence” as you put it….
So can we all!
Thus I applaud your choice of taking time off…to have alone time with “you” and to ponder.
Seems you have discovered a solid foundation within.
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taylor nikole Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:33 pmhaha who cares if you didn’t blog every day….
you had fun
you discoveredand yep… even the smallest things
can ultimately be ‘big’i think first… in order to do something for someone else, you need to be content with yourself or do something for yourself.
(i guess that isn’t always the case, but still)and its true… out of the plays ive been in and such…
You got me thinking about how it would be to direct something like that…
its like ultimately actors are designed and programed to follow direction….
but its weird and so difficult sometimes to actually see yourself putting everything together and actually being the ‘creative’ one with the vision. -
taylor nikole Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:35 pmand truly if i had missed a couple days of not posting for a blog or something to take a self week
i would have probably come back and just told all about it… not appologized because i was having an unforgettable week and experience :-phmmm maybe i am rude -_-
*ponders* -
taylor nikole Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:39 pmDarwin…
your post kicks….
my posts ass :-/
LOL -
Vanessa (spain) Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:10 pmYou seem to be a very extrovert person, and I think it´s good that you take some time for yourself.
I´ve got the exact oppossite problem, and I like to read the things you say because it makes me see how important it is to be part of a community and to have people who support and approve what you do.
I think people´s approval makes everything easier, but at the same time, if that approval it´s too important for you, you can go through hard times when you can´t have it for some reason. So I think it´s ok to appreciate people´s support, but not taking it too seriously, because some day you can do something wrong, or something that someone doesn´t like, and then all the joy´s gone.
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taylor nikole Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:16 pmbut doesn’t waiting for someone’s approvals make you less… self-sufficient in a way?
because i think that only your own approval can ultimately make you more content with yourself…
like not even anothers approval built up can match up to you coming to your own opinion and conclusion of yourselfweird.
LOLif you did something wrong the only person that should make you feel bad about it is yourself….
like the only person that can make you guilty is yourself…
which i think we can sometimes argue is not true
hmm -
Vanessa (spain) Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 2:43 pmThere is a saying that says something along the lines that nothing and no one can really make you feel good or bad, it´s only your interpretation of things what makes you feel one way or another.
As human beings, we learn (maybe unconciously) that to be happy and succesful in life we need to behave the same way that most people behave, and that the more people like you, the better you are. If you´re out, you´re a failure. That´s why we need the approval, some people more than others. And I think that´s ok, because it´s our nature to be social beings.
The problem comes when you´re unable to feel good unless someone gives their approval to what you do. Because then, you´re dependent of other´s opinion, and you can´t really be yourself.
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Avitable Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:14 pmI look forward to seeing your directed episode.
Have you ever though about participating in the blogging community a bit to see if you get anything out of that? One of the reasons that I blog is that there is a sense of greater community and friendship that can only be really found by reading and commenting on people’s personal blogs.
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David Hayes Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:26 pmAllison,
If you need validation and approval from others what you do or neglect doing, this is the place to get it. There are people here who will agree with anything you do or may contiplate doing. But sometimes what people really need is a good kick in the butt. If you need someone outside of yourself for guidance and don’t trust your inner voice, find people other than a group of nameless, internet dwellers with unknown agendas. No offense intended to anyone here, but if you want guidance or validation from someone, sure you can get valuable input from anyone anytime if you know how to look at it, but advice that you can rely on needs to come from people who you can trust who really know you. And who in here really knows you? And don’t ask me how to find someone you can really trust in this world. It sounds like what you have been doing is some of the best groundwork for becoming the person you want to be. Good job.
Take Care.
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Ruthie Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:52 pmAllison, thank you for being so transparent. I’ve had a similar experience in my lacking attempt at keeping up with nablomopo (on two blogs…crazy, I know), my family and burgeoning writing life outside of the blogospere. I think your two modes of operation are something many of us can relate to, though on a different level. You are trying to find the balance just like the rest of us!
For the past few months, authenticity has been the word for me. The inward-journey is so relevant to our growth as individuals and in our art. As a writer, my goal is to create something that hits at the core of human recognition. This was the very idea I spent my “writer’s date” exploring today.
The best communities validate individual growth, that is what creates a dynamic group, not dependent, but encouraging.I am a fairly new to your work on the small screen, got sucked in when my husband started buying the Smallville seasons. I watched them all within a short time. When I began following your blog, I found myself having to remind myself that you were the same person who played Chloe. I was drawn in, as I am sure everyone who knows you personally has been, by the growing soul you are, not by your accomplishments. Be aware of that and find it in yourself.
“A life of objectification, entitlement, obligation, and anger. This is not what I want to do. And so the exercise of alone-ness, self identification begins. Within this process, I have taken more in for myself, and have been struggling to find the balance between how much to share and how much to hold, how much needs to be said and how much doesn’t and why. It all comes down to why?”
Why? is a perfect place to start.
Namaste
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Claud Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 3:53 pmObjectify us if you want. You write for your own reasons, just as each of us read for our own.
I personally like reading the thoughts of someone with life experiences and perspectives from that differ in so many ways from my own.
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Lou Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:03 pmIt’s not simply from directing Smallville that all these thoughts are racing about in your mind. It is from engaging in an activity that is potentially beneficial to your life in the long-run.
I’ve been tying my brain in knots lately over-thinking everything. I get so caught up in “what ifs” and self-questioning, that finding which end is up can be difficult.
Being a director, part of what I assume helps is to step outside yourself, as they say with pretty much any profession. This has helped me a ton. Far too often, I’m just going along with what looks right and what looks easiest. Sometimes you have to just bite the bullet and go for it. Which is exactly what you’ve done here. MAJOR props.
Easier said than done, but I can tell you have a lot of ambition. perhaps sometimes too modest for your own good, but that is a very admirable (and too rare) quality in people. Keep on living and learning, Allison, and your career will surely skyrocket! 
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Ross UK Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:11 pmI can’t remember what book it was but I remember reading a conversation between two strangers and one was saying how they could be completely honest with each other for that very reason – they were strangers. He said that you can only be yourself with strangers since your friends always have expectations. In the long run you find yourself playing an expected role and unable to be yourself.
I don’t know if your need to seek approval from the faceless people of this community is an extension of the mask you normally portray to those around you or if it is a means whereby, among strangers, you can learn more about who you really are. You’re the one in the best position to determine this and to decide what direction to take things and who you want to be. Either way, taking the time to ponder can only lead to greater understanding so knock yourself out.
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Neil Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:39 pmAllison, as long as we love you, and you’re happy doing what you do, that’s all that should matter. There is such a thing as over-analysing your life. We all have a part to play in life. This is your part in life. You work it excellently. dig too deeply into your own life and it will spiral out of control. Your depth of personality is what makes you so unique. You are a true beacon of light in a dark, endless sea of self-absorbance. Don’t change who you are. You are truly a breathe of fresh air!
Neil
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taylor nikole Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:12 pmmuahah
i think there was one time when i was like
“dude why do i agree with everything allison says? Sure her ideas and thoughts are great and understandable.. but why can’t there be one thing i disagree with to be different”hmm i have weird thoughts like that though
its just me
i like to be… different
soo when i found a thing she wrote about that i didn’t exactly agree with i said so, but i also found myself fully accepting what she had said and respecting it…
personally i love to play the devils advocate
*bad kid*
and i can be a bit of a butthead like i was open minded already, but i think being on this site if anything has helped me be even more accepting of others opinions besides my own…
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James Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:39 pmYou have many great talents, Allison, but most of all I think you have a talent for overanalysation and self-doubt. You haven’t objectified the community in any way by creating this website. In actuality you have done them a great service that should not be undersold. Do you realize how many people in your position close themselves off and think they have to be alone in order to maintain a ‘normal’ life? You have, in fact, done the exact opposite and because of that we (Or I, at least) feel like we know you intimately without ever having seen you face to face. You have done this maintaining a level of personal dignity and identity that is simply unprecedented. I believe you do this just as much for the people that read this website as you do it for yourself. And you need to realize that you having a reason to do it for yourself does not make you selfish in some way.
We ALL have self-benefitting reasons to do EVERYTHING and there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. There’s no escaping imperfection, and no good can come of trying to catch and kick yourself for every imperfection that you have. Believe me, I know:)
I don’t usually write NEAR this much, but I think I had some things that needed to be said.
With utmost sincerity,
-James Frost -
viviane Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 5:51 pmAllison, I tell you that I’m sure you are doing a great job directing this episode, you are a great actress, not as a director will be different … their fans are very proud of your work! I’m glad to hear that you liked this new experience! you are an enlightened person with the gift of making people feel encouraged to make the world a better place! you do things with determination … hope to see you working for a long time still being in Smallville or another project! know that you are an example of person to be followed … thanks for sharing their experiences with their fans!
take care … love you!
Viviane – Brazil
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Marilyne Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:00 pmWell… It’s pretty cool to see all that range of emotions directing an episode could give you:P and as far as searching what life Allison Mack wants to live and how to achieve it, I think that it’s absolutely normal to constantly question yourself, but I think no one actually finds the “truth” and it’s not a bad thing. You have to be like, why this? how that? in order to grow and always learn about yourself in order to fully live your life. Whenever too many questions collide in a blur, I just find something distracting. A stupid song is always good. These days, I listen to Mocking Bird featured in Dumb and dumber..:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc287hdGDQc -
Brittany Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:08 pmHello Allison! I’m very proud of how much you are accomplishing in your life! Especially the hard work your putting in to make this director’s debut a memeorable thing in your achievements. No worires about not blogging! I think everyone needs to step back or out of something to just let their thoughts kind of flow in their minds and reanact what’s going on in their lives. I can’t wait to see the directed episode and I know you’ll do a fabulous job because you dedicate yourself very well to the tings you do in life! I know you must be feeling kind of confused and struggling with finding all the answers to your questions, but do not worry, I believe everyone goes through the same thing. You’re not alone and you should know that your community fully supports you and loves you! I have much faith in you and I knwo you’ll pull through! I’m am very glad that you get to experience this project with people who are caring and loving. It’s a very rewarding experience and it must feel incredibly scary but amazingly awesome in every way!
Thank you for sharing this project with us!
Much love & support,
Brittany XOXOXOXO -
Gnome Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 6:22 pmDon’t worry about us…
We are here because we enjoy to hear about you and your new experiences.
We are your personal cheerleaders”. He he he.You suppose to enjoy write this blog, you shouldn’t feel so obligate to write anything.
We are gonna understand your absence as long as you don’t forget to feed us, once in a while…
If you are happy… We are happy…
Congratulations !
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Tom Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 7:12 pmDon’t worry, Allison. You’re not the only one who’s going through things like this. This quote in particular hit home: “So I move through life, with no sense of self unless I am experiencing someone else’s reaction to me and no sense of alive-ness unless I am reacting to another person.”
Be glad that you’re discovering this at 26. I’m still learning this at 34.
Don’t feel bad about posting here to get some kind of validation. We all need that now and again. Do you think we would be here if we didn’t desire validation from someone we admire (in this case, you)?
Just keep trying to figure out who you are, who God is, and what it all means in the grand scheme of things. Those who truly seek will always find.
I’m thrilled that you’re getting so much out of this directing experience. Take as much time as you need. We’ll still be here when you get back.
Signed,
One of your adoring fans. -
me Rachel Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:25 pmOh how good it is to step back and look at yourself the way you see your self and not through others eyes.
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christa link Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:41 pmhi allison. im glad to hear that you are doing well. its ok if you need a break from blogging sometimes i need a break from my child and that doesnt make me a bad parent. like i said before, i am 37 and still trying to figure out what i want to do with my life besides being a parent. just be yourself and everyone will love you and accept you for you. you are the best actor i know allison, that is part of reason that i watch smallville every week. you always brighten my day with your smile. i think you are the best actor on smallville and the coolest person ever. i wish that you could be my friend. blogging to you is the next best thing. you are avery wonderful person and i am glad that i found your blog it is very cool. i know that you like quotes so heres a show that you might like its called criminal minds. they have quotes at the begining and the end. to be warned it is not for the faint hearted. its on wednesday night at 9:00 on channel 2. i cant wait to see your directing debut. i should stop rambling. good night allison, i hope your family is well and that you have a good thanksgiving.
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$imonfOX Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 9:50 pmUr Growing Mack! Thats wht it is, wit ur own experience, u became Philosophal xD
Kissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss *** Hasta Luego Cariño! That Shot in HD 2 weeks ago Rocked, Ur face very near the Camera and brainiac coming out of U!I Saw you wit every detail possible ;P Waz almost like I wake up in the morning in u were just right there..inactive xDDD Ciao -
Daniel Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:22 pmhttp://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=87194439
Excuse me….this band is different and awesome and the music would fit….
some of smallvilles scenes…
the band is from sanfrancisco…called TenDead……….
I gave the site check them out…
love you…..!
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Kush Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:00 pmI’m glad this process has helped you on your personal growth. I don’t mind at all you haven’t blogged since it is quality not quantity.
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Aysha Says:
November 23rd, 2008 at 11:31 pmHey Allison,
I am glad that your overall experience in directing has been good and that you are surrounded by the right kind of people. That’s certainly a blessing! I think it’s fascinating how much a learning experience can inspire some soul searchin’!
With that said, it is so eerie how much your thoughts about talking about your experiences and pleasing others mirrors my own thoughts. I feel I constantly have to entertain and keep people interested in me in order to keep my self worth at a high level. I constantly need validation from other people and consequently have coined myself as a people pleaser. I don’t know if you experience this sentiment, but often I feel like I have revealed a little too much about myself to people that I haven’t begin to trust fully. I later sometimes regret that I ever opened my mouth. Sometimes I speak before I think and it works against me at times.
I feed off of other people’s emotions and reactions.
I empathize with you 100%, Allison.
Take as much as you need to reflect. I know I need to do that as well!
All the Best,
Aysha -
taylor nikole Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 2:18 amgosh give some of that growth to me..
you are already tall enough!*humor crashes and burns*
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Dream_Walker Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 2:21 amAll i can say is…… such ….commitment, such ambition, such an passion …wow
That is truly rare, ure a gem in pool of glasspellets, hope You know it
Dont worry about us, well always be here for You to support in everything You face up against Keep going no matther what! cheers DW
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Craig @ KryptonSite Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 3:44 amAllison,
Congratulations on your first time directing Smallville
I can’t wait to see the finished product – though I’m sure that you did an excellent job!
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Jade Ruby Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:28 amYou know what? I would like to hear your commentary about this episode on the DVD Allison.
Congratulations, and enjoy your holiday time. -
Ruthie Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 5:38 amMy reading this morning reminded me of what you are going through right now, so I thought I’d share it:
“Disappointment, embarrassment, and all the places where we cannot feel good are a sort of death. We’ve just lost our ground completely; we are unable to hold t together and feel that we’re on top of things. Rather than realizing that it takes death for there to be birth, we just fight against the fear of death. Reaching our limit is not some kind of punishment. It’s actually a sign of health that when we meet the place we are about to die, we feel fear and trembling. But usually we don’t take it as a message that it’s time to stop struggling and look directly at what’s threatening us. Things like disappointment and anxiety are messages telling us that we’re about to go into unknown territory…” Pema Chodron
You are at a beautiful impasse, that unknown territory is a place to go inward a place of self-discovery. I find myself going through cycles of “death and rebirth.” Times of pain seem to be a waking point, the discomfort thrusts us into a place of new growth. Embrace this place, as I know you will, with gratitude and curiousity…you are growing! And really, my friend (as we all feel we can call you), that is the most important thing.
namaste,
Ruthie -
Lauren Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 6:14 amWell done, this a big accomplishment.
Smallville is very popular so has put u on the table (acting i mean).
The directing is going 2 teach a lot so u are climbing further up the table.This is great 4 u and if this is how u would say it ‘Your Big Brake’!
This is going 2 put u bang in the middle of the map where everyone can see u.xoxo
lozps soz 4 being so strange, hope u get my drift.
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Ruthie Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 6:18 amOne more thing, a few thoughts on labels, how we cling to them for self-worth, and finding our truest selves in the moment:
http://ruthieswoods.blogspot.com/2008/11/labels.html
For whoever is interested!
ruthie -
Karen Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 7:26 amOh Allison, you astound me so much with your words of wisdom and self discovery. I admire your courage to partake in something so challenging, draining, yet inspiring. Here you are at 26, directing a popular tv show watched by millions, after also acting in the same show for 7 1/2 years. The people that surround you there will be your support crew and confidants, they will see you through this great discovery of another facet of your identity.
I wish you well Allison, and take confort in knowing that another nameless internet dweller has been inspired by your experiences!
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Vegas911 Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 8:53 amUnless you fill yourself up first you have nothing to give anybody. Therefore it is imerative that you tend to you first. Attend to your joy first. Many of us were taught to put ourselves last, and as a consequence we attract feelings of being undeserving. Change that thinking. I love that quote and think that it applies to so many life situations.
I am the type that drowns myself in mindless tasks in order to forget that I don’t know myself very well….I mean I knw what I like, what I don’t like…..but I am most baffled by why I do some of the things I do…..why I feel so unsatisfied in what I have in my life…..so I fill up that whole with worthless junk…….and hope it goes away!!! haha….I know I have been super cheerful latley…..mybe it’s the holiday blues?!?!?!
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Jennifer Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 10:11 amAllison,glad to hear your directing experience is going well so far. I’m proud of you and all that you have accomplished in just 26 years of your life. I’m the same age as you and only wish I had a background like yours.
A few years ago when I heard your name I automatically thought of Chloe Sullivan. It wasn’t until your blog that I started seeing you…well as you. Allison Mack. I love the way you express your thoughts and take us on an adventure through your self discovery. The way your yourself and hold nothing back.
Your such a sweetheart but you don’t need to apologize for taking a bit of time off from your blog. Take all the time you need before posting again. <3
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David Hayes Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 11:38 amSorry Folks.
I went a Holy Spirit workshop this weekend with my wife. There were 3 sessions over a two day period. The lecturer was an amazing man – so knowledgeable, bright, talented and funny … a true communicator. My wife has received physical therapy for ailments that she has been told could only be slightly improved upon by surgery. She was told to live with the physical limitations and come to grips with it. By the end of the weekend, she had free movement and freedom from the pain that has plagued her. People all around me were being healed on conditions that they were told required surgery. I witnessed it. I was there. It was very real. But before the conference started, I became suddenly ill and couldn’t even sit up. A few minutes before the first session was to start, I got even sicker and then found some inner strength to get up, get dressed and get out to the car. I sat in the back of the sanctuary and took notes as the man lectured. People began praying and some people began to be healed. Some people came over to me and prayed over me because my wife told them how ill I had been. I got even sicker. Their prayers were lost on me. I was sick through the night but well enough to make it to the second day. Even more people had spiritual experiences and healing and I didn’t get any worse. I learned a lot and took more notes. I knew my wife really wanted me to give the experience a chance to work for me. I didn’t know if I was ready or not, but I went forward the third night and totally opened myself up in prayer and asked that I could be a better tool for His purposes … specifically that I would be able to be a better voice on this blog and could help open people’s eyes to other ways of seeing the world and their part in making it a better place – I asked to be a channel for His wisdom. It was the largest such effort I had made in my life. I didn’t let my mind block me from being open to whatever may happen to me. All around me, people were being affected down to the core and suddenly … I was very much in the world and totally awake and weak and as empty as I’ve ever been. So I missed out again … and I have to apologize that I can’t be the person in here for you that I had hoped I could be.
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llysenwi Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 12:53 pmAfter all that, it better be a kick ass episode.
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Robin Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 12:58 pmHoly Shit indeed, what an amazing experience directing must be, just from reading your comments I can feel your joy at being part of a film making community…well done!
I guess we all play roles in life to an audience from parents, school friends, partners and work colleagues, but sometimes we only allow ourselves to be genuine when we are alone.
keep having fun
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Scott123 Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 2:20 pmSo I was watching TV the other night, there was a show on about Stonehenge. There was alot of talk about the construction, and it’s mysterious origins. The archeologist on camera was pointing out that one of the stones had a “stop carving” one both sides of this particular stone. Since the builders didn’t use concrete, they would carve a male “stub” on one stone, and a female “stop carving” hole on the other one. Well, the archeologist quipped that having holes on both sided indicated what could possibly be one of history’s first engineering accidents!
I thought, “This little tidbit of history has philosophical merit!” So here goes…“When life gets you down, and plans you have made aren’t going as planned, remember: Even at Stonehenge, some poor soul carved a hole on the wrong side of the stone. ”
Celebrate the artists around you.
Do fun things with the camera.
This ain’t over…wait until premiere night! Your friend in artistic exhibition,
Scott123 -
JohnnyCinco Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 3:24 pmI think most people rely on other to judge them, to critique them, to see who they are. The saying “You are your own worst critic” is very true. Most people have either a hard time judging themselves or judge themselves too harshly. Sometimes you have to take a step back from your world and take a look at who you really are. You have to take the good and the bad from all your experiences, and it is your chioce to either keep the good and let go of the bad or try to keep everything inside. I do not think that you have look for anyone else’s approval except for you own.
Your Fan,
Johnny5 -
Smallvillekent Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:08 pmAllison, I am glad you are enjoying your first directing experience. I am looking foward to the finished product. You have accomplished alot in your 26 years. One of your internet friends. Peter
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Smallvillekent Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 4:14 pmAllison Mack Friends, Just a note if you live in the New York City Metro Area. Tonite Monday on Channel 45 ABC Family Unlikely Angel is on 9:00 pm. Staring Dolly Parton and Allison Mack. It is from 1996. Enjoy!
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Bilal Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 5:15 pmcan’t wait to see what miss mack has conjured up…i am sure whatever it is, it will be great…keep up the good work…
xxx
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Michael Coco Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 6:42 pmIt is to be human to want to be alone but at the same time to want people to validate you…everyone at some point needs to take some time for themselves because if you dont you start to lose yourself in what you do or people you know or talk to…so allison you have performed for so long you deserve some “alone time”
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arash Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 8:43 pmI am just amazed how some people stay positive all the time, I have always had people like that in my life, but more I listen to news and follow what happens in the world harder it is for me to be one of those people whom I admire.
I get confused easily now. I used to be happy recycling my old computer before but now I am worried the toxic released from the remains of my computer in china can kill a bunch of kids.
When you know only 10% of your donations actually reach those who need it and the rest is to cover the high salary of organizers who may invest your money somewhere you don’t want to, what would you do? Do you stop helping?
It seems like less we know happier we can be. That is why monkeys laugh all the time, never seen one crying!
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arash Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 8:57 pmI am hoping that happy people didn’t get offended by my last comment, I am in persuit of happiness and just thinking load here.
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arash Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 8:58 pm“loud”
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Brittany Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 9:07 pmHey thanks for the heads up on Unliekly Angel Smallvillekent!
Allison, you look gorgeous and so cute. How old were you there?
( I only saw a part from youtube but i’ll tape it if it plays again).
Britt XOXOX -
Bouroux Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 10:15 pmHi Allison.
I am glad that your overall experience in directing has been good.
Don’t feel bad about posting here to get some kind of validation. We all need that now and again. Do you think we would be here if we didn’t desire validation from someone we admire (in this case, you)?
I think this experience directing an episode forcing you to look in the mirror and see what your fans see since several years.
Many actors do not watch their performances on television preferring to receive feedback from the director. You have adopted this way of doing things in your everyday life.
To direct your episode, you must assess and give feedback to the players. You therefore give feedback to yourself. It was a revelation.
You know now that you are able to evaluate you objectively.
A balanced life must be maked by working time, joy time and rest time.
The interpretation is a gift that you received in your youth and that you have developed wonderfully. You are the best.
I am very grateful that you have trusted us.
Takes care of you and takes your time.Good night
Claude. xo -
taylor nikole Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 11:39 pmhahah i just happened to start watching unlikely angel….
because im addicted to abc family sometimes and then i was like.. awww allison is such a little punk in that movie haha<3
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Jade Ruby Says:
November 24th, 2008 at 11:54 pmOne of the most important skills that you have shared with us Allison, is your ability to turn on your “Performance Mode.” This skill has served you well, and gives a lot of us hope, as well as admiration. Too often our own daily ruminations and interruptions appear to get the better of us–or so it seems. Then here an artist such as yourself shares with her online community *her* personal doubts and fears, while producing an excellent product for our consumption. This lets us know that some of the limitations we experience may be tackled and conquered; eh, maybe tomorrow. : )
So no matter if you want to post, or lurk, or pop down to the theater with some friends, feel free to find a little satifaction here when you want some.
Take care,
Jade Ruby -
r kappz Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 2:47 amDon’t burn out, man. Not thinking is as important as thinking.
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Sarah Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 7:00 amAllison, that was an awesome post.
I’m glad you such an amazing time directing! That is very interesting what you were saying about needing people’s approval to validate your own identity. People do it all the time; I know I do. I should know who I am and not have to depend on other people’s thoughts to decide that. I never even thought that this blog was a way for you to use us as a verification of who you are. You’re so freakin’ thoughtful, Allison. I love that. You can verify that you’re a thoughtful person from that comment.
I can’t wait to see this Smallville episode of Allison Mack’s directorial debut. It’ll be great!
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David Hayes Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 9:02 amHi Allison,
Today, I may have found the writer for my movie. This movie is perhaps my idea of a lifetime. The best ideas are simple and classic. This one is. Everyone I have shared it with have been blown away by it. Until recently, I didn’t think there would be a part in it for you … but I had a revelation about that and some of your comments about what you want to do later in your career fit … as well as that parting smile at the FOS in the last episode. You could direct, produce, involve people you know … the possibilities are wide open right now. Anytime you are open to a 5 minute pitch, you know where to find me.
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Cindy Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 10:17 amAllison,
Congrats on your directing adventure thus far. I’m sure it is going to be great!
We understand that you need some time away from it all to concentrate on YOU. Nobody is capable of being on the go all the time. If we don’t take time to slow down and be quiet, our well runs dry and we feel empty. Sometimes, I get so busy concentrating on everything going on around me and running around trying to please everybody that I loose track of who I am and I soon find myself devoid of imagination, creativity and initiative. The only way to combat this is to be SELFISH! Time for self-reflection (in my view) is the secret to having a healthy soul. That, and cultivating the ability to be honest with yourself without beating yourself up about your failings.
I hope, once you feel like things are making more sense, you will join us again. It must be scary sometimes being so open with strangers but, don’t ever doubt that it is also valuable and inspirational. You inspire people to be brave and open and to think about important issues. I know you are very busy and it must take commitment from you to keep this community alive but, I want you to know that we appreciate it very much. So, thank you for being so brave and open. If more people shared of themselves the way you do I think there will be a lot less confusion and hatred in the world. We all need good role models, especially young people, and I believe you have the ability to do a lot of good by being here.
Hope you have a wonderful holiday season and hope to see you back soon.
Regards,
Cindy
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Pamela Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 11:44 amHi Allison, I am so delighted to hear that you enjoyed your first week directing. Although I am sure it was so scary, it is also giving you a chance to pursue another one of your passions. I just found this really lovely news story and wanted to share it with you and everyone else in here. It is
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=10831031
This story just shows how one person can make such a difference and the kindness of people in general. It’s really appropriate since the festive season is nearly upon us. All it takes is one person to start to change the world
Pam
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The Friday Philosopher! Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 1:13 pmBoy, am I glad that my life is a lot less complicated than yours!
I only have to worry about what tie goes well with which shirt; even that’s more complication than I would like to deal with!
Anyway…
I’m glad that you enjoyed yourself and I hope that the rest of your experience and the series is just as much fun!
Take care all
Friday
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Liz Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 5:40 pmI understand… or at least i think i do. So often we go through life, not really experiencing it, but just going through the motions. It’s human nature to seek approval, which sucks.
Because honestly, we have so much to offer this world, so much to give to it, but we’re to caught up in wanting to please everyone that, in a way, we limit ourselves.
One of my friends radically redifined life in my eyes. When i first talked to her, she seemed cynical. But later on after we became friends she told me something i’ll never forget.
“Liz, the difference between you and me, is that you want people to like you. I frankly don’t care, if they like me, good for them, if they don’t. oh well.” -
Jesse Cas Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 6:59 pmHi Allison
I think that’s wonderful that you that are expanding your horizons around the field of acting into directing. I think that you are an extremely beautiful, loving and intelligent woman, with a lot of innate ideas that you can bring to anything you do. I also think that seeing the love in others around you is so remarkable. Allison, I hope you continue go on doing the things that you are doing. Let your heart guide you, your beautiful if I can say that haaa,
-Jesse
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Billy Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 11:04 pmHey Miss Alison!!! Well it’s been a while. I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you!! You are working very hard and I know that you’re episode is gonna be awesome, ’cause you were the director!! Have a nice day!!! All my support!!! Take care!!!! My apologies for my english as usual, hehehe.
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Billy Says:
November 25th, 2008 at 11:05 pmI’m sorry is “your episode” not you’re. So sorry!!!
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SolShine7 Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 3:48 amThat’s awesome. One of the best blog posts and observations on life and self that I’ve ever read. So thanks. I’ve felt that way too.
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Lexie Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 8:10 amAllison, thank you so much for all you do and all you inspire in us! It’s so awesome to be a small part of this journey with you. Your such a talented, gifted and beautiful person.
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Vegas911 Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 8:15 am@ Arash…….as they say….ignorence is bliss!!!!!
I think everyone should stop at some point in their lives to evaluate what they are doing, and determine if a certain action is going to improve yours and others lives or not!!! Too many people today are soooo self absorbed, would it not be great if we have a random act of kindness Mack Event….or has she done that already???? Or just stories of people that have been the recievers of such kindness? I think that during this time of year a lot of people are alone and have noone to spend it with……so what could one person do for another to make this holiday just a lil better? -
arash Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 10:15 amvagas911,
I think the cookie event was the first step, but sure we can take the second step now.
Inspiring stories about random act of kindness is a very good idea. I start with one of my stories;
I generally don’t believe in miracles and I am not superstitious either, I believe there should be some logical explaination for every thing, having that said there are things I am not able to explain myself.Back to my training days in army, our group was rewarded a few days off for outstanding performance. I had to travel for 15 hrs by bus and train to go home and visit my family. The problem was I was totally broke and my money would get me only half way through. But it was new year’s and I had to go back and see my family. With all my money I took a train to another city, On the train I was thinking what the hell am I doing, how am I going to get home, I looked up and I saw an older guy sitting in front of me staring and smiling at me, I looked away and thought; Okay may be when I get off the train I ask stores if they need help with any thing and I work for a few hrs for some money then I’ll buy a ticket and go home. Looked up again, the man was still staring and smiling. I continued my train of thoughts; But who am I kidding, who will give me a job for a few hrs so fast so soon. I wish they would let me pay on my way back, ya like any body would trust me on that. I look up again, this time the man gets up and walks towards me, he put something in my jacket’s pocket. I looked, the exact money I needed to buy my next ticket. I was not raised to accept help from anybody I wanted to say something but he stopped me, keeping the big smile on his face he said;”It’s Okay”. I thought okay, but I will give that money back so I opened my mouth to ask for his address or phone number but he stoped me again; “It’s okay I said”.
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la_chypriotte Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 10:37 ammost genuine and insightful blog as of yet. thanks for teaching me something today.
see, this is another reason we share stuff. sharing knowledge. helpful. keeping a balance tho, always good. -
David Hayes Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 11:10 amArash,
You can pay me that money back now.
[That's a joke. Nice story!]
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Darwin Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 11:23 amThat is a great story Arash!
Much the same has happened to me…many times actually.
So I resolved to “be” the help for others when I could…
And when they asked how they could repay me…I just asked that they help
someone else when they have the opportunity. -
David Hayes Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 11:29 am“Pay It Forward”
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David Hayes Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 3:41 pmIt’s been very quiet … almost as if everyone had headed off for some … holiday.
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David Hayes Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 5:10 pmThe world seems a little backwards to me in some ways. If you have an idea for a movie, I’ve been told that the idea can’t be accepted unless it is totally scripted … and if it is accepted once it is scripted, it will be re-scripted leaving almost nothing but the original idea. Why waste the time writing the script? Because you have to! Then I found a place that only takwe ideas … just not MY ideas. Then someone said they would get a script written for me from a treatment. I told the person I have an outline, NOT a treatment. So, I was told, write a short story that doesn’t have to be anything like the outline so that he can have a treatment written followed by a script. Then he can submit the script, get it optioned so it can be stripped back to the original concept. Just talking about it was exhausting to me. In may, I spent a couple hours scribbling down the introduction to the story that was to be nothing like the movie but would be the basis for a treatment … whatever that is. But, I didn’t spend more that a couple hours that one night. I may be able to work on it more this weekend, but I don’t know if it is worth it or will get me where I want to be with the entire thing. So I thought I’d type a few pages and see if that breathed any life into me.
This isn’t an appropriate place to post this, but what the heck. If someone else is out there and not spending a traditional holiday with other people and feel the urge, please read what follows and let me know if what I’ve typed up is interesting enough that I should keep working on it … so it can be used and tossed out on the way to the real story. Otherwise, I think I’ll just try cleaning the gutters on my house this weekend. That’s exciting work. Not as exciting as when I lived in a three story house, but the potential of a ten foot fall is still pretty thrilling.
=======
“Clarence’s Tale”
5-12-08Hello! Warmest greetings to you all! If you read the title of this story, you probably realize that I am Clarence. I don’t use a last name anymore, so it’s simply Clarence … formerly known as SIMPLE Clarence. I never was the brightest light in the night sky, but sometimes constancy is more important than intensity. But that is beside the point of this story … and neither am I … although I was so bold as to put my name in the title. It isn’t really appropriate and I might change it tom something more apt as this little project of mine takes shape. If you would, please remind me to rethink the title if I forget to do so. Thank you for your help! We can all use help every now and again … and some of us more than others.
Pardon me? You want to know why the title doesn’t fit? Well, you see, I discovered the details of this story by exploring a great mystery surrounding my lifetimes … yes plural … LIFETIMES. As I posed the questions and the answers played themselves out in front of me, I found that I owe what I am today by the action … and inaction … of a man that made an unselfish sacrifice so the world can be as it is today and I can happily be in the place where I am. What? Not thrilled with the world as it is? Well, part of the reason for that is that you don’t know the way it almost was. Actually, it WAS that way. It was worse and had the potential due to a ripple effect of being much, much worse. But that all changed in a single day … in a single encounter between worlds physical and spiritual.
I’m sorry this is so confusing. Hopefully I will find words to make this clear. This is all new to me. I used to be an avid reader … but was never inclined to do much in the way of putting quill to paper. Now I feel compelled to write this particular story so that all can know the power that small acts can have over a lifetime – both positive and negative. I thought that my writing would, as is normal in such cases, remain something for my own amusement in my own realm … but the powers that be for some reason have taken an interest and informed me that my words will be allowed to filter down to people such as yourself. I am so honored that such an unusual exception should be made for one such as myself. Having been given the opportunity, I will try to undertake it enthusiastically! That being said, I’d better get on with it.
William Constantine … what can I say about such a man? He is the one that gave me the wonderful gift I want to tell you about, but he was also the person that who had previously pushed me beyond all my limits … and NOT in a good way. I almost lost all that I am … FOREVER! That may not seem like much to you, but I am all that I have. I really did what I could to be true to myself. I fought the good fight, but my opponent was too strong. I let him lead me to despair and beyond. In the end, I gave up and, in giving up, allowed him to destroy the last vestige of who I was. But strangely enough, that NEVER happened! At least it didn’t happen in the sense that you call “reality.” But beyond reality, it DID happen … then UN-happened. The man that cost me everything made a choice that gave me back … ME! He gave me back my soul! Despite all he had done to me, I did the UNTHINKABLE to him in a thoughtless, impulsive moment. The me I am today can not even imagine doing what I did no matter what excuses I might like to make. And William Constantine was NOT a man know to be kind, tolerant or forgiving. Far from it! Yet, he made a choice that went against everything he had been and everything he had believed in and adhered to … and that choice gave me the chance to be what I am!
I know this is difficult for you to understand. In your position, I know I could never possibly comprehend what I am telling you. I was more than somewhat … dense … when I walked the Earth. Not that I’m brilliant now … except compared to you … not that any of that is your fault. It’s just the nature of things. I’m sure you’ll be much smarter than I am when you’re dead like I am. There you go! “DEAD!” That’s a perfect example. I had to use that word so you can understand where I’m coming from, yet the word as you’ll interpret it is SO very, VERY WRONG! The way it seems to me, you are the one that’s dead … or at least severely limited – stuck in that heavy body of yours with only a few senses with which to experience creation. What a JOY it was for me to finally wake up! Excuse me. Again, there is a problem with the words. When I left my body behind, it was like experiencing everything in the universe for the first time. The spectrum that is available to my senses is so vast … but it is as indescribable to you as …. Again, I just can’t say in a way that will make reality comprehendible to you. I don’t mean to sound condescending, but I feel so sorry for you. I don’t know how I tolerated my time that way as well as I did … and even managed to love the experience while I was there. But going back? No … expect for a short visit to make me appreciate what I have now. No thank you.
Now, don’t get me wrong! What you do is VERY important in the scheme of things! I couldn’t be here if I hadn’t been there and done what I did. And if you weren’t doing what you are doing during your journey on Earth the consequences would be …. OH MY! This is so DIFFICULT! I guess this is why direct communication with un-transfigured souls is discouraged. I could explain it to you, but first I’d have to kill you. And, NO, I’m not making that mistake again! So, this awkward form of communication will have to do. Please bear with me, because I am certainly no Charles Dickens … although I have talked with him at length about what I intend to say here and he has been generous enough to share a few pointers with me … that, hopefully, weren’t lost on one such as I.
…. To be continued … or NOT?
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David Hayes Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 5:15 pmAlready screwed up. The sentence that doesn’t make sense in the first paragraph of the story … at least ONE of the sentenses that doesn’t make sense … was supposed to be
“But that doesn’t have much to do with the story … and neither do I … although I was so bold as to put my name in the title.”
I’ll have to learn that simple rule someday — edit first, post later.
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Ross UK Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 5:54 pmIt seems interesting David, and I’d like to see where you go with it, but like you say, probably not the best place for it. Have you thought of just posting it on Daybow.com or the creative writing forum and maybe just posting a link here? Wouldn’t take up so much space on the comments board and anyone who wants to read it can do so easily enough.
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paul Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 6:05 pmWow. A very eloquent, even soul-baring post. I admire your courage!
“So I had 2 modes of operation.
1. Very vibrant, committed and aware aka performance mode, or
2. Totally quiet, often despondent, and quite shut off aka not performance mode.”This is… troubling. You are a very talented person, and it seems that your talent can be a curse. I get the impression from this and other of your posts, that you are not quite comfortable in your own skin. That the validation you have long gotten from your acting talent has become a necessary thing, and has cost you a degree of simple inner contentment. This saddens me, it frankly seems a terrible price to pay. I am a person with no creative talent whatsoever– nil, nada, zip– and so I have always had great admiration for those who do. But I guess nothing comes without a price.
Perhaps we all simply have our own preordained quota of happiness and despondency…
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arash Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 7:22 pmDavid,
The first step before writing is to know for certain who your audience is.
Whom are you writing for?
And that is why usually the script get changed later. One to target a different group of people and two because your writing may not communicate well enough with those who have to make it into a movie.
Sometimes it might help to think backwards, think of it as a movie and think about with what kind of feeling you would like to leave the theatre if you see it for the first time. -
Darwin Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 9:00 pmDavid Hayes…I know where you are going with this…at least the direction…but I for one would LOVE to see the journey unfold completely!
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David Hayes Says:
November 26th, 2008 at 10:05 pmRoss,
You are right. It’s been an exhausting week despite only being 3 days long and I’m too tired to think clearly right now. I should have just posted a link to the story and left it buried on my FTP site. I haven’t learned how to add comments yet to Daybow, but that site isn’t being (outwardly) updated these days. Daybow won’t have any new material directly available on it unless I decide for sure what won’t be publishing anything … in which case I’ll post my last series there and possibly some “historic” photos targetted at an Northeast Ohio audience.
Arash,
I know the movie and the audience, just not the dialog. It’s the story that begets the treatment that begets the script that reveals the idea that seems like a waste to write to me.
And Thanks Darwin,
you know and I know and a handful of others know … I just wish someone else would do the unfolding of the story while I go clean the gutters.
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Adrian P Says:
November 27th, 2008 at 5:11 amhello people I was gone for a while, sup?
well ally I’m very happy what this directting role made you think, and I hope you keep it that way. and the thing is that I get you well since it happens to me a lot. nice that the directing came out alright…. and cheer up a bit
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Smallvillekent Says:
November 27th, 2008 at 12:05 pmTo Allison and all her fans have a Happy Thanksgiving!
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Jade Ruby Says:
November 27th, 2008 at 2:08 pmIt’s weird–I thought earlier, “Damn I’m going [WTF is happening on Allison's site?] to need more butter!” Ha, ha.
So. . . while I’m basting my bird, here’s a shout out to ya all!Take care,
Jade Ruby -
David Hayes Says:
November 27th, 2008 at 2:29 pmSme thing happened to me while I was nuking my oatmeal and mucking out the gutters.
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Jackie Says:
November 27th, 2008 at 2:48 pmim glad that you had an awesome time directing this episode of Smallville even though it was nerve-wrecking and exhausting at the same time! haha.
Don’t worry! It’s gonna be awesome!
I’M PROUD OF YOU GIRL! :]
hehe. oh! btw! Happy Thanksgiving! l8rs! -
Jade Ruby Says:
November 27th, 2008 at 3:12 pmShhh, my bird turned out GREAT!
Keep it under your hat.Take care,
Jade Ruby -
David Hayes Says:
November 27th, 2008 at 3:46 pmSo did my oatmeal! I sculpted it to look like a turkey. But don’t keep it under your hat. That would be a gooey mess!
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arash Says:
November 27th, 2008 at 6:24 pmYou guys in U.S harvest way too late, but happy thanksgiving anyways.
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Jade Ruby Says:
November 28th, 2008 at 1:34 amOk, while I’m massaging my tootsies after walking through the market, I’ll try to remember we harvest too late here in the U.S.
Take care,
Jade Ruby -
Ellen Says:
November 28th, 2008 at 2:12 pmThe thoughts that go through our brains as human beings are so amazing that we crave to share them with others because of just how exciting we feel about things. Its like saying “Wow look at that!” and if there is no one there to see it with you, you might feel like what happened didn’t matter. I know sometimes when I can’t share I feel like why should I care? Put makeup on for who? I guess for myself to feel pretty for the day. Sometimes when you do something good and no one notices you feel like why did I bother? But you feel pride inside. Or if you do something you feel guilty about and think well, only I know about what I did wrong so it doesn’t matter. But it does, because you know what you did wrong. You have to feel good inside to be happy with yourself. Even when there is no one around to share amazing things with. You have been given a gift to see things by yourself. Like being your own best friend. You have your own special moment. Like when you see a shooting star and your like Wow cool.
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Natália Says:
November 29th, 2008 at 4:59 pmIt must have been incredibly intense to direct an episode. Good intense, though.
I’m glad you liked it What makes this blog great is the fact that you seem to truly share with us your deepest doubts in life. And a hundred percent of those we feel too.
So please, objectify us! It satisfies us too
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Jen Says:
November 30th, 2008 at 1:55 pmAllison, Thanks for wonderful blogs and inspiration. So proud of you in taking further creative steps directing. You are so talented and articulate and that is conveyed in all of your work.
Happy Holidays and keep up the great work, you impress me every week.Blessings
JEN -
sparkeychan Says:
December 1st, 2008 at 6:23 pmYou always amaze me with your ability to put into words how many of us…or at least I…feel and think.
You wrote, “Never really allowing myself to be a viewer in my own life…[...]…Taking my own experiences and validating them through the knowledge that others would read and approve…[…]…I was running around in my life looking for…ways to gain approval…waiting for the next cool something to come along so that I could use it to confirm my identity, my sense of myself, through the reactions of other people.
So I move through life, with no sense of self unless I am experiencing someone else’s reaction to me and no sense of alive-ness unless I am reacting to another person.”I definitely live my life as a direct relation to the input I receive from the world around me. Life is a constant game of give and take. I give something of myself to the world and take how the world reacts to teach me how much more or less to continue presenting to the world. Fortunately there is a great wide world out there. Just because some of the world reacts positively or negatively does not mean that this acceptance/negativity will come from the entire world. Is not my acceptance of this fact and my ability to emotionally process any positive/negative reactions my sense of self? Even if occasionally I am my judge?
You always get me thinking…
I am glad you had a good time directing and I am anticipating the episode airing!
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Marco Says:
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:50 amThroughout my quarter life existence, I have come to see that one of the signs of a healthy life is balance. I truly believe that the meaning of this existence is to impact others in a positive way. This can be done through one’s actions, words, art, finances, etc.
I believe that in all of us, there is a natural longing for validation. We want to be thanked, loved, appreciated, and approved of. However, if we let it, it can consume us. I firmly believe that if we focus our attitudes on giving of ourselves, then we will be fullfilling that need in someone else, which in the end, satisfies them and ourselves. Humanity was meant to form a beautiful chain of healing hearts, being held by one another.
I don’t know everything. Heck, I don’t feel like I know much at all. By I truly believe that we were put on this earth for the purpose of giving ourselves for the sake of others.
Wow…that was long. -
Carissa Says:
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:42 pmAs much as I love coming here and reading your blogs sometimes I think you’re in danger of thinking too much, lol – i say this only because my dad tells me this everyday. He says sometimes it’s just okay to ‘be’. When I find I’m constantly busy the moments I take to myself are very important. They’re the moments when I know I’m still myself, and I like myself – despite the positive and negative ways people see me sometimes, I feel content (mostly, lol) I’m a fan of yours because I see talent and compassion in you, but I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with resting your brain once and a while
My first impression when I first came to this website was ‘wow, she’s deep’ then I thought ‘that must be exhausting’. I actually kind of enjoyed your random blogs, they were scatter-brained and funny. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with them
It’s probably normal to see ourselves the way other people see us, and I don’t know, maybe I’m weird because I don’t really care one way or the other – but don’t let it get you down.
I’ve been here a lot, but never posted anything…I guess I just felt like maybe my two cents might help. I hope you feel better soon (I’d suggest opening a bottle of wine and having a movie night, one of those fun ones where you throw popcorn at the screen [which my best friend and I constantly do to Lana :S])
I’ll leave you with this…
Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.
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Aziza Says:
December 2nd, 2008 at 7:48 pmanytime I need motivation , i’m reading these blogs.
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Silvia Says:
December 12th, 2008 at 1:26 pmDear Allison,
It’s wonderful that you’ve enjoyed your directorial debut and you do not need to apologise. You inspire and bring joy to so many people and the same can those people do for you.
I know how it feels like what you are going through. Doubts and misery come and go. Take your time for yourself and to ponder. I exercised aloneness, took time for myself to think about my life and I really thought the only way is to keep on going. I was wrong because we also have to hold on – especially for the important things in life.
26 years of life and I still ponder sometimes, however, what you are seeking is not hard to find.
The key to happiness, love and what you really want in our life lies in your heart. The way of life is the way of the heart – just listen to it and make your way.I hope I could help you a little.
Best Wishes,
SilviaPS
Something I wanted to tell you for quite some time…
Look into the mirror see yourself and how you are sparkling from deep inside – this is what makes people beautiful and you are beautiful, Allison Mack, absolutely beautiful! -
Ashley Says:
January 9th, 2009 at 1:46 am“Look into the mirror see yourself and how you are sparkling from deep inside – this is what makes people beautiful and you are beautiful, Allison Mack, absolutely beautiful!”
Wow. That’s… beautiful. Very nice of you to say that.
Allison, I wish to learn about the experience of being on a real film set. I’m not sure what I want to do but I know I want to be on a film crew. I want to participate in the creation of something beautiful – a fantastic movie or show.
I have so many questions about your experiences on the set. Especially directing and working with composition, lighting, editing, the visual effects crew, and others. I just wish I could talk to you. It would guide me.Take care
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veronica Says:
January 28th, 2009 at 5:16 pmhi Allison. i’m new to this comment stuff and i have to say, i asked for an add on because i love your show and every one in it. but now that i have read this i now know that your more than just an actress, (great by the way!) you are an amazing person. you have given me reassurance that at any time of your life you can still have faith in making yourself better and making a dream of your come true.. i’m so glad that you accepted little ol’ me on your profile, i cant wait to see the episode, which by the way is on this thursday. with love, a fan, Veronica.
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Scott123 Says:
January 30th, 2009 at 11:43 amDearest Allison,
Bravo! Bravo! So, they gave you one heavily laden with special effects, and a kissing/love scene. How nice that they threw you in the deep end, and hollered out “Start kicking!” Well, how else are you going to find out?
I had my film study hat on and watched to see how you were going to do certain things (pan, pivot, focal length, and of course, special effects). So, from that point of view, I would say A+! There are two scenes that really stood out for me.
1. Where Lana bursts from the tank. The whole sequence is slomo with effects laid over that! But the eye exchange between Clark and Lana is what I was watching. Alot of other things have to happen smoothly for THAT to happen. Well done…:)
2.Then there is the kissing scene at the end. This type of scene is very difficult to shoot (as I am sure many people have told you). The actors may be “in the moment” and “conveying the emotion”, but is the director capturing that on film? Frankly, there are some rather big name directors who cannot do this. You however, really captured the emotion required to make that scene work. I know alot of factors were at work, but you should celebrate the idea that those factors did work, and you got the shot! (a very important part of film making)
So, I’m left with two questions:
Does Allison have a hidden talent, being able to shoot a kissing scene? OR, was the faithful apprentice stepping up? I guess we’ll have to wait and see…:)Your friend in storytelling,
scott123 -
Nick Says:
January 31st, 2009 at 2:30 pm01/31/09
Hi Allison I just wanted to write you and say Congratulation on your Directorial Debute. Your episode “Power” kept me in suspense through the whole show.
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Alwin Says:
February 1st, 2009 at 12:36 pmYou’re a great director too! No surprise there.
As much as I love to see you all in front of the lens, it seems like Smallville has been a great training and proving ground for the “Bossy McBossy” craft.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever you do. -
Silvia Says:
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:20 amHi Allison,
Your postings in your blog and forum gave me some idea of directing, however, I was quite curious about it. Fortunately I didn’t have to wait for Season 8 airing on TV in Europe. I had the chance to watch „Power“ on the internet this weekend. Well, I watched it twice actually…
However, the staging of the director is an artistic work of its own. Congratulations, Allison Mack, you did a great job and you made art – especially the episode’s end bears the hallmarks of yours. Well done, you’re on the right track. You’re a wonderful artist. So just keep going.Best wishes
Silvia -
parker grayson Says:
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:02 pmi thought your episode was great. it felt kinda out of place with the other episodes but i think thats what made it so cool. it had its own vibe and i hope this doesn’t sound seriously gay(sorry hillary duff) but i felt it. i’m a musician and i know how important it is get that out of someone and how hard it is to do. good job.
Parker
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Keegan Says:
February 28th, 2009 at 1:11 amI found myself directly in line behind you (at least until someone behind the counter pointed out I was in the wrong line…woops) at the car rental place today (2/27/09). Being certain I recognized you from the show, my awareness of you and your actions was heightened and I found myself wondering who you are outside of the charachter. Ironically I came to your website and I found you wondering who you are as well. In light of your introspective thoughts I thought you might appreciate and outside observers observations (for lack of a less redundant word).
I was pleasently surprised to see that you seemed to be a very warm person. You were quiet, but you excuded a sense of kindness and unique presense that impressed me. You were second in line to be seen and you mistakenly thought that a counter attendant had become available. You noticed that the lady in front of you had not made the same observation so you reached out and gently moved your hand down the ladies shoulder and smiled and pointed to the open attendant. As it turned out the attendent was not available, so the lady had to come back (woops, happens to the best of us) I then made a bad joke and told you that was a cruel joke to play. You did two good things that don’t typically happen in LA I think; 1) you pointed out the open attend in a kind and patient way and 2) when you realized you were mistaken you apologized. Was it a grandious and extreme display of human kindness, no, but it was a glimpse and a glimpse of something good.
We all struggle with the question (some knowingly and some unknowlingly)…who am I when no one is looking? After all isn’t who I am often lopsidedly (that’s a word isn’t it?) affected/shaped by how I want to be perceived in any given moment? So when can I hope to catch a glimpse of who I really am? I think moments like today at least have the potential to reveal a glimpse of who we are.
I would like to offer a word of caution hopefully without and eir of condesention. I have a weakness of getting caught up in my introspective thoughts and as a result I think the activity sometimes becomes more of self obsession than a true exploration of thought. I believe there are no more defining and revealing moments in life than those moments in which we show love. Keep in mind that the characteristics of love are tend to completely deny self. So its the times when I lose myself that I gain a life with meaning and impact. You have to love the irony!
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Luis Says:
April 19th, 2009 at 12:17 amyou are brilliant and thats all i have to say! best wishes luis
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Mike Clark Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 1:08 amHi Allison,
Really enjoyed the episode you directed. In a series with very high production standards this was a real peach of an episode. Would be great to see you try your hand at some original short form direction, I’ll look forward to seeing more of your work.
All the best
Mike
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