flustered
Posted by Allison Mack | Filed under Blog
Oh my god. I feel like I am 13 sometimes. I have been getting so flustered around people I like recently. When I am around men and woman whom I think are super cool, I turn into a bumbling goon.
This is a new progression in my personal evolution. Oh yeah, I used to be cool as a cucumber, quick witted with the ability to totally sass back to any and everyone. But that all changed when I decided to be honest. Now? Watch out! The most awkward girl ever is named Allison Mack and she is going to be forgetting sentences and tripping over her own heels at a theatre near you very soon.
Oy, I so look forward to the day when grace, humility, and honesty are things I live consistently. When the muscle of my ideal self is strong enough, through the practice of upholding, that I no longer feel like a 9 -month-old breaking away from the coffee table for her first round of right foot, left foot.
That will be the day!
xo
Allison
Tags: admiration, flustered, grace, honesty, humility
53 Responses to “flustered”
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Tucker Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:34 amFunny how honesty can throw a wrench in things like that. It’s just a matter of flexing that tact muscle until it becomes strong enough to assist you. It’s not a matter of throwing back up a wall of B.S. or even necessarily “sugar coating” things. It’s just a matter of learning to gauge others’ sensitivity. Not an exact science, of course. Sometimes you just gotta say what you have to say and learn to stumble through it. Learning to walk is a great analogy.
And don’t be afraid to be quippy and trade words. It doesn’t have to be dishonest but it doesn’t have to be completely relevant all the time. That’s what helps us feel people out. And it often opens up greater discussions.
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Tucker Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:37 amOh, and nothing wrong with letting people on to how the effect you. Often establishes comfortability quicker.
Long as you keep the drool in check. Sadly (and messily), that took me a while…
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Jay Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:12 amHey, I am 58 and I still act that way. I have brain farts ALL THE TIME! From what i’ve seen, you are still VERY COOL.
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Shane Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:31 amIt’s better to be honest than not be yourself right? But i also like acting cool sometimes
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Silvia Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:08 amHi Allison,
I know exactly what this feels like. People usually feel like this when something’s wrong in their lives. So instead of just looking forward to the future I recommend you to do a tiny analysis. You don’t need much time – 10 minutes are more than enough… because it’s usually quite clear. The only question to ask yourself is “Why?”. You possibly feel this way because there’s at least one thing in your life that makes you unhappy. That’s how this usually begins – with unhappiness. Therefore a warning… pay attention that this does not become a severe inferiority complex or even a depression. When I read your lines, there already seems to be a touch of it.
It’s wrong to wait for the day because you have to stop this right now in presence. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’ve been in a change. You’ve been trying to change some of your habits. This is a big deal, Allison. You shouldn’t underestimate this. Maybe it is too much for you to do all changes at the same time. So try it little by little, step by step, but above all this: don’t make yourself look small! This is all human, Allison, and you are only human too. Be human, Allison, and be you.
Anyway, before continuing your changes you ought to ask yourself whether all these things are the right things for you. What other people think doesn’t matter at all – it must be the right thing for you, only you. Besides, stop wanting to do dozens of things at once for ending in a hole always wears you down. Why? – Because you possibly think you failed. As a matter of fact, you didn’t. It was just too much. I personally think that this is your problem… trying and wanting too much at the same time. Of course I could be wrong since I don’t know you personally after all. Yet, this is what I think.
So try to realise what the reason/s for this feelings is/are. The moment you can’t point this out you’ll start to feel better. Yet, try to solve the problem this feeling is based on. As a start… try to relax when it comes to it the next time. People usually get tensed in such situation. So, relax!
Good luck and much love,
SilviaPS
Nothing is better than being oneself because if you are not yourself you become unreal like the character actors/actresses play. Dare to be yourself, dare to be human! -
David Hayes Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:12 amThat game of right foot, left foot can be very exciting as well as scary. I guess we have to learn to enjoy the process as we evolve because it is a constant process. Do we ever really arrive? If we wait until we ‘get there’ to be proud of who we are and what we’ve accomplished, it may never happen and we will have just piled a lot of negative feelings about ourselves on ourselves for an entire lifetime.
One of the really vivid moments of my life involved my nephew James. He hadn’t started walking yet. I had gone to Kmart and there was this blue light flashing in the shoe department. It turned out they were clearing out shoes for really small children. Some of the pairs of shoes we 50 cents. So, I bought a lot of shoes even though I was a bachelor at the time. The plan was to pass them on to friends and family and co-workers. When I visited my brother John and sister-in-law Sue, my brother was out in the yard. Sue and James and I sat on the kitchen floor and Sue went through the bag of shoes to see if any would fit James. There was only one pair that was close to his size and it was just a little bigger than the shoes he had been wearing. They were miniature sneakers. She pulled the shoes on him and tightened the laces then stood him up. Just the little extra length gave James the extra stability he needed. He confidently stepped forward, but what he did, I wouldn’t describe as walking. He did this shuffling movement that was like a rehearsed dance step. He danced out across that kitchen floor as if he had been at it for months and hasn’t stopped dancing yet (almost 20 years later). My brother was a little pissed that he missed it, but ….
I don’t know what the moral to that story is. Hmmm. How about this? Don’t be embarrassed if at times it feels like you’re hobbling along in clown’s shoes, because the shoes you are walking in today give you the stability you need to get to tomorrow. NOPE. They aren’t all gems. I’m just hobbling along too.
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Avitable Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:04 amJust makes you more human!
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Lynsey Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:41 amYou’re not the only one that feels like this – I sometimes think I was more mature when I was thirteen than I am now. I like what you said about being honest, and I definitely agree. When you’re a teenager it’s often about putting on an act. Once you learn a bit more about who you are and become confident in your own shoes, it seems your inner babbling-idiot comes out to play more! Maybe that’s a good thing though – it certainly makes life more interesting and gives you something to laugh with your friends about!
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Claud Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 amYou’re just taking a new road.
Once you learn where all the twists and turns and potholes are, it’ll be just as familiar as the old road was.
The thing about the honesty road is, it’s a much simpler road. Not always easier, but always simpler. -
nkc Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:53 amI just wanted to say Alison,that is very good to see your back and seem to be doing well.You have a lot of worried fans out there,im sure you know what i mean…..anyway i hope all is well,and thank you for everything you do
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Brittany Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:28 amHey Allison! Telling the truth is not easy, especially when put in an awkward situation. I’ve been in numerous awkward positions especially while telling the truth, so know that you’re not alone! I hope you will be able to be honest with ease soon, and that your road gets a lot smoother as you make your way to the finish line.
Much love & support,
Brittany XOXOXOXO -
Dario Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:35 amHi Allison,I’m from Germany and I don’t know if you’ll ever read this post,but I wanted to ask you if you could do some episode-commentaries for season 8 of smallville for the dvd,Especially for episodes like “Odyssey” “Bride” “Justice” and espicially your directing debut “Power” and “Hex” or “Doomsday” the season finale,and maybe you could ask Tom and Erica to join you and the other cast-members,we (the fans) really miss you on the dvd extras,You, Erica and Tom always did the funniest commentaries ,and we haven’t heard you and erica since season 4 and tom even since season2,so if it’s somehow possible and you have enough time please please please do some commentaries
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Lis Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:35 amI know how you feel! I am always flustered and i get all wierd and akward and all gracefullness is GONE! I stutter, forget what i want to say, and once someone shows any interest in me i can’t look them in the eye (case in point ANY guy i like) errr being honest and knowing who you are can be such a drag!
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Jennifer Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:02 amI know how you feel Allison. I get flustered a lot. At least your being honest.
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Netra Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:14 amGirl!!!! Who does not feel like a fish outta water when trying something new?? I am terrified to be honest, it’s a hard thing to do, for anyone! And an even more difficult prospect to be on the recieving end of this new found painful honesty!! But the fact that your at least being honest with yourself about your own shortcomings is a major step in the right direction….soon enough you’ll be a mermaid!!
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Jesse Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:49 amHi Allison
I think that being honest with yourself is amazing, it doesn’t make you awkward only makes you stronger as a human being. You are a very strong person with great ideas and being honest with yourself just makes you stronger. Grace, humility and honesty is what I try to live consistently with my life and wow keep going. I like “the muscle of my ideal self” It’s like training for who you want to become. “Cool as a cucumber” that’s funny haaaaa and you’re not a bumbling goon haaa you will always be super cool in my eyes, whatever that means. I feel that since I am in my twenties I don’t know what cool is anymore haa. I guess you would always be that cucumber never ah pickle again I don’t know what I’m saying haaaaa. Allison so strong and beautiful
-Jesse
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Amanda Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:07 amFor some reason when I read your post, it reminded me of the first few lines of Paul Lawrence Dunbar’s We Wear the Mask “We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—”.
It’s like you’ve allowed your mask to be removed so people can finally see the real you. It takes you out of your comfort zone. Putting yourself out there for all to see = the ultimate vulnerability. It takes time to get to where you really want to be. But, there is beauty in the waiting. These experiences are like a refiners fire removing any artifice leaving behind something of great value…true grace and humility.
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Kris Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:10 amThe first thing that popped into my head when I read this was, “Allison’s 25, right?” There’s something wickedly magical about that number that sends everybody into a downward spiral of “Who am I? Where’s my life going?” It’s pretty funny to me now that I’m several years beyond 25 and am now seeing several younger friends struggle through it.
So that was kind of off the point of your blog post, but I saw a nice quote that might be relevant. It was on one of those little nick-nacks they sell at Hallmark.
“Be you. Nobody does it better.” Take a deep breath, sit back, and have faith that you’ll figure it all out in time.
Glad to see you posting again!
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David Hayes Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:35 amSo … if someone meets you now and you don’t get flustered and turn into a bumbling goon, should that person be insulted?
“I just met Allison Mack and she was articulate and poised. She must not like me!”
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AJ Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:39 amHang in there!
Any chance you are going to go to Comic-Con this year? I missed you last year, but I’m going this year!!!!
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william Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:46 amAllison, it’s great to get up everyday and “hear” you talk to all of us, it really shows how much you care and its just amazing to see you on smallville and then read something you personally wrote it feels like a letter to each one of us. And your so real what you write about we really get to know you as a person, THANK YOU! Anyhow, I know what you mean but let it bother you to much, always be honest and good but cool and collected at the same time. As talented as you are I’m sure you can pull it off! I’ve enjoyed reading past mack events I looking foward to a new one so I can jump in! Also the video entries are so cool you seem like your right in the room I’m in! Love the website, be cool!
william -
Jimmy Valentime Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:52 amwhen you are younger it is easy to be confident because we don’t have the experiences of failing
but those experiences give us character and make us better people.
You got to strive to be somewhere in the middle ; knowing when being gutsy works and when being quiet works.
it just a thing to remember to be comfortable in your own skin and people will be comfortable with you , the more tense you are, the more tense other people get and it becomes a cycle …
I would watch you bumble around in a movie, I bet you be good at physical comedy …
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Vanessa (spain) Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:57 amI never knew how to be cool with people. Actually, I never knew how to be “anything” with people. It used to take me a while to feel comfortable with someone, and to start being myself.
But something changed in me. I stopped thinking that I was the center of the Universe. I started looking out and being truly interested in others, and that´s how I´m learning to be myself.
Just by having interest. Not interest in showing others about myself, but interest in knowing more about them, and interest in learning.
I´m not ashamed of making stupid questions anymore, or saying stupid things. Nobody is perfect, and if someone judges me for saying something that they don´t like or don´t find smart, it´s too bad for them.
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thomas Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 amBeauty is stunning, breathtaking, knocks you off your feet.
Face to face, breath to breath, lovinkindness endures forever. -
Robin Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:48 amWell, I can definately relate to acting flustered and acting like a goon around people…especially with those I like!
I guess It’s a bit like me wanting to act like the character of “The Fonz”…but in reality I’m much closer to being Ritchie Cunningham…ha, but I guess we can’t be who we’re not, right?
Feeling awkward in and around people we admire,I think that’s what makes these moments funny and special…letting ourselves be genuine and honest in our emotional response to situations IS cool!
Keep honest and having Fun!
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hollyxsuicide Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 amhey that’s funny you started to re-post on my 19th birthday!!
i’m a french girl by the way
=D
it’s like a beautiful sign for inspiration etc. i like the way you’re thinking, the way you tell us how you are inspired, and all your beautiful quotes.hey how did you think to compare yourself to a… cucumber?!
hahaha
that’s so funny.anyway…
i really am eager to have a look to your next posts.
you look so much like a very cool person! -
Joe Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:11 amlol I love how you describe things.. just hilarious..
awesome awareness..Sounds like you have some kind of plan??
BTW- what do you mean by being honest – like in terms of meeting cool people?
Like in what way and how does that contradict with being cool as a cucumber? -
Amanda N. Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 amI feel like that sometimes too Allison.But normally it is when I am in front of a group of people I have never met before.It is true though I worry what I do and say more when it’s folks I know,somehow their opinions matter just a bit more.You are definitely not the most awkward girl ever.It is nice to know that you have the same fears and feelings when trying something new and being around people you know.It makes you more human and real and also very relatable.Great topic to bring up.
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Gnome Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:02 pmOh my…………….
She was presumed dead a few days ago and now, when I open this blog, there are thons of posts.
I wondering if I was the dead one…WELCOME BACK!
And about your post, there is nothing wrong in being like that. At least you act like 13. My uncle says that I act like 8 yrs old, so you are still in advantage on me.
There is nothing more genuine, honest, free and pure than one child.They don’t need to use any mask cause they don’t have anything to prove to anyone.
Its the being just for being……
It’s just amazing and contagious, that I’m not ashamed to act like one sometimes.
It happens to seems that I have more fun than people on my age that way.
No regrets on that.
If you on it I will totally support you!
Remember, if you trip or brake some things on the way there will be always someone to help you stand or to clean your mess.
Believe me!
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Smallvillekent Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:04 pmAllison, That Ok it happens to be a human trait that many of us have. I know if I met you I’d be a bumbing goon because I think you are super cool. Cheers to all the bumblers!
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Jade Ruby Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:22 pmThat is a situation that many of us can reflect on. Yet I think that for right now you just may be in a blue funk. In a couple of days you’ll be ready to roar once more–
Look out world, here’s Allison again! -
Maria Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 1:37 pmI totally, completely understand you! Sometimes it seems like you’re a walking disaster! lol But You simply take a breath and keep going! There’s always going to be one of those days where you won’t get anything right!And I agree with smallvillekent if I’d met you I’d be a bumbling fool too! jeje And I agree with someone who said to just be yourself. You can’t be anything but. You can’t expect yourself or anyone to be perfect ALL the time. We all have our flaws, we all break sometimes. That’s just what being human is.
Xo
Maria
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Brittany Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 pmCheers!:P
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Veronica Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:08 pmhaha you are so adorable Allison
! Well I can’t wait because no matter what your always going to be super cool to me
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WhitneyC Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:22 pmI wish you could see me attempt (and subsequently crash and, oh yes, burn) speaking to, let alone spending time with an ex-girlfriend for the first time in years (myriad online conversations interspersed meanwhile). No longer is there an amicable connection to be had… let’s just say it ended up last summer in a bit of a discord. I discovered how very difficult it can be to come across as cool and collected when you’re overwhelmed with a fervent need to express yourself after years of no face-time thanks to the repression (see: “excuse to avoid actual contact with someone you used to make puppy eyes at”) of the internet. So, yes, I proceeded to make a complete imbecile of myself in front of the one person it would make any difference to me with!
If you witnessed that travesty, Allison, I assure you you’d feel about as cool as the Fonz (if he were jumping that shark in the north Atlantic) even in your least graceful of moments!
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Dario Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:10 pmHi Allison,I’m from germany and my english is not the best and I don’t know if you’ll ever read this but I wanted to ask you if you could do some audio-commentaries for the season 8 dvd of smallville for some episodes like Odyssey,Bride,Legion,Hex,Doomsday and of course your directical debut Power,we the fans miss you on the dvd’s,we haven’T had cast audio-commentaries since season 4 with you and erica and tom hasn’t done one since season 2,it would be so cool if the 3 of you and maybe the other cast(Aaron,Cassidy,Sam,Justin) would/could do audio-commentaries for the dvd,cause the fans including think that yours toms and ericas were the best and funniest,so if you have time and if it’s not too late please please please do some audio-commentaries,and I hope my english wasn’t too bad and I hope you understand everything I said,bye and greetings from germany-berlin
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Rita Gabriela Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:26 pmYou are amazing!!!
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Gilles Belanger Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:43 pmi think alot of us have been there in the situation ur in
… glad to see u back as well allison take care
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Krystal Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:01 pmHmmm….I am not even sure how to word this. You have made me think of a new form of dishonesty. I have never really analyzed the fact that I do “act” many times when I am trying to come across to others as an intelligent, well poised, and interesting young woman.
I have nothing to say other than…I need to think about this…..
Krystal
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Aziza Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:45 pmok, this is my third attempt at a comment and hopefully the first successful posted one for this blog (I blame my crappy internet connection)
I was thinking how it would be like if I met you for the very first time. I would be so nervous struggling to form coherent sentences in my mind.
At first we ‘act’ confident and then through the ‘practice of upholding’, the personality we wish to reveal to the world may become second nature to us.
And that is something good- we are constantly changing, hopefully for the better as one inspires you to be an inspiration for another.
I think the coolest people on earth are those that do not mind the awkwardness of people- instead of judging them, they have such an openness that makes others feel at ease.
Silvia talks about ‘an inferiority complex’. We see others so much more valuable than ourselves that we feel we don’t belong in their presence or wonder why they treat us like equals. We start improving ourselves without realizing our inherent value. I think it’s important to realize you are special the way you are and after you realize this you can honestly seek to re-evaluate your priorities and your ideals. People are constantly striving for perfection and more perfection. To one person, you may have reached the stage when you feel that you have a long way to go. To me, being a perfect human is not being afraid of your faults. There is really no such thing as perfection- there is high quality excellence (if that makes sense). There is always someone, who, while looking up to someone, always finds themselves being admired by another.
Take care Allison
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BOUROUX Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:17 pmHi Allison.
What’s happen to you?
Sylvia says:
“It’s wrong to wait for the day because you have to stop this right now in presence. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’ve been in a change. You’ve been trying to change some of your habits. This is a big deal, Allison. You shouldn’t underestimate this. Maybe it is too much for you to do all changes at the same time. So try it little by little, step by step, but above all this: don’t make yourself look small! This is all human, Allison, and you are only human too. Be human, Allison, and be you.Anyway, before continuing your changes you ought to ask yourself whether all these things are the right things for you. What other people think doesn’t matter at all ”
It’s exactly what I think when I read this blog.
Allison you have an amazing personality.
For over 20 years you have developed defense mechanisms to survive in the world of showbizz. Losing these mechanisms to lead a more honest life may not be a good idea.
Those that encourage people to change their lifestyles do to make money and are not very honest in their everyday life.
We want to see the real, true, strong and happy Allison. Be carefull with your personnal evolution.Take care of you.
Claude. -
BOUROUX Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:21 pmAllison, it’s amazing.
It’s not kryptonian, but human.Quick Change Artists in America’s Got Talent
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Dick B Says:
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 pmDear Allison,
We all lie at one time or another. Remember though, a lie is a violation of trust and a deception. To me, at least the partial measure of one’s character is when we lie and why. Something to think about.
Dick B
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Vanessa (spain) Says:
April 24th, 2009 at 1:02 amWow, loved that video Bouroux. Thanks for posting it
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Puffy Says:
April 24th, 2009 at 4:39 am“A certain awkwardness marks the use of borrowed thoughts; but as soon as we have learned what to do with them, they become our own.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Pita Says:
April 24th, 2009 at 4:47 amFirst of all, it’s sooo great to have you back. I miss U a lot. About this topic, you’re not the only so called awkward girl on Earth. Everybody does, and it makes life more colorful with all these different characters.
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Nathan Says:
April 24th, 2009 at 6:12 amWow! Good to have you back! I was starting to wonder if you’d fallen in a deep hole to the point of searching news sites for news on you. I relate to what you where saying about stumbling, falling and awkwardness. Just remember stumbling into a brighter future is better than marching confidently into the past.
Awkwardness is beautiful too! After all how can you grow into grace without knowledge of awkwardness? If awkwardness marks your beginning in grace, how much more needed is awkwardness and the truth to acknowledge it? Truth is the foundation of awareness, awareness is the frame on which decisions are hung and decisions give shape to your life.All very cliche of course but true nonetheless. For me I often stumble and the hole I tend to land in is depression. its not pleasant but its true. I admit I wondered if depression / burnout is what happened to you hence your hiatus, so if you ever need anyone to talk to… I thought I would offer my ears. Or at least eyes to read your text. Whatever. you know what I mean.
Anyway, good to have you back.
Hope all is well
Nathan
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Karen Says:
April 24th, 2009 at 10:44 amYou’re not the only one who struggles with that. Keep pressing on!
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Karen Says:
April 26th, 2009 at 11:18 pmOh Allison, I’d take grace, humility, and honesty over super cool anyday!
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Ruthie Says:
April 27th, 2009 at 2:54 pmThere are different stages in life, and people reach them at different times. Some choose to stay put, some choose to step out. You seem to be at a really good place. Getting to know your authenitic self and being comfortable with that authenicity is a process…one I’m still in myself. I think the balance of this process is accepting the challenge of working with your human personality and still honoring the essence…that divine quality in each of us.
I guess, what I’m saying, is ‘Bravo!’ Keep up the good work. I find your journey laudable and inspiring. Thank you.
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Ruthie Says:
April 27th, 2009 at 2:59 pm“I so look forward to the day when grace, humility, and honesty are things I live consistently.”
By the way, this is a very telling statement about your heart and character. I honor the path of anyone who actively pursues a goal such as yours! And…I hope to see that day in my life as well.
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Georgia Choate Says:
April 28th, 2009 at 11:52 amSome of the funnest people to be around are goons. Embrace your gooniness. Most will appreciate your sincerity. Others should watch and learn.
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Irene Says:
April 30th, 2009 at 7:17 pmI love honest people- even when they are brutal. “wounds of a friend can be trusted.”
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