Blog 40
Holy crap I’ve made it to 40!!!!! Wow! Minus that one drunken night of forgetfulness I have done something that I committed to for 40 days in a row! That is huge! So cool!
Ok… enough of that celebration! I have been spending the last 2 days on a meditation workshop… Yep, that’s right, I am going through that quintessential “what does it all mean thing.” That bump in life when we start to search for something deeper!
And as cheesy as it sounds, it’s fuckin’ awesome! I had such an amazing time simply reconnecting with me.
It’s so funny, I find that in my attempt to be unselfish aka spend more time with others, put time with myself as a last priority, I end up behaving more selfishly? Maybe I have misunderstood the term? What is selfish?
Here is a quote from a speech given by Nelson Mandela written by a woman call Marianne Williamson:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Tags: Blog, committment, selfishness
Pride
A request of pride
allison, i would like you, if you can and dont mind, is do a session on pride. you may have already done it because ive only started doing comments for like a month but anyway i mean like ask people what makes them proud and stuff please. if you read this i would appreciate a chat about it please.
JONNY
So this was a message requesting a post on pride. Here it goes. When I think of pride, several things come to mind. One is my ego, that damn image I have of myself that I always seem to bring up when I need an excuse not to do things that scare or intimidate me.
Actually, let’s focus on that pride for this posting, then tomorrow we can explore further!
As some of you may know, I am directing this season. I was let off the hook last season due to the writer’s strike, but now this season it is back on again. And now I have no excuses. This is an opportunity I can’t pass up and yet every time I think about the process I feel as though I am going to throw up.
It’s that image, that pride, rearing it’s head and I feel like thwarting that character I believe I am in my day to day life is a fate worse than death. Facing failure and testing my pride– hell, even proving my believe in myself wrong, is like the scariest thing in the world to me. But if this is something I never test, if I walk through my life believing that I can do things I have never in fact tried or tested, how strong and confident will that pride really be.
One slip and the whole thing is torn apart.
It is my belief that the only way to build a foundation of self that is substantial, that won’t crumble at the first sight of questioning or failure, is to, in fact, fail. And then learn how to put the pieces back together from beginning to end. Then you truly understand how the curves and crevices fit and you have no fear of it falling to pieces again, cause you know it is no big thing to re-lay the concrete.
But man getting over that initial sense of fake self-confidence is a doozy.
More on this tomorrow
xo
allison
oh and by the way, my sites gonna be down for a few hours tonight and tomorrow due to some reconstruction! I’m redecorating! Fun!
Tags: Blog, Directing, failure, prejudice, pride, Smallville
