an ego
Ok, so pride is the greatest limitation in the world. I set out to be wonderful and present in everything I do and yet because of this confusion I have with my image, it is almost impossible for me to be present and real in any given situation. I am just noticing that this is all an effect of the pride I carry and work to uphold at all times.
I am so confused with the person I think I need to be vs the woman I am. The funniest part of all is the woman I am is actually cool. When I find humility and appreciation I enjoy all people and experiences so much more. I love and value each interaction because I see people as something other than objects to confirm my image.
Funny, I think because I grew up thinking the image I play is the best and most important thing in the world, I am so afraid to be something other than that, but because of this fear I confirm this belief and perpetuate the issue. Vicious cycle, no?
I am working on a movie that I will be filming in June and I am seeing my limitations as an actress and it is only since the last few days I have been able to admit to the challenge and ask for help. I am very excited now, as opposed to the “freaked-the-fuck-out” I was before, because I feel like I am learning how to learn. Similar to the directing, maybe this will help me to build myself into the actress I want to be.
Maybe I can get better? Grow? That’s exciting. Am I alone in this enslavement to the image?
xo
a
Tags: Acting, ego, Learning, pride
when we are honest…
I have been having the coolest experience with respect to honesty. Everything is so much better when you take out the bullshit. Things actually surface and you can see yourself, your true self, for what and where you are.
I think I am only now beginning to understand the joy in self-empowerment. The intense value in owning your own shit, and then making the necessary choices and steps in overcoming whatever struggle you are having in the moment.
It is incredible how quickly we can grow and evolve when we remove all our lies (including pride and ego) and actually put effort into building an honest sense of ourselves vs. clinging so tightly to the masks we wear that we can’t even see through the peep holes.
Wow, the result of honesty? Deeper and better everything. Who would have thought?
xo
a
Tags: ego, honesty, pride, self-empowerment
